Detox Diet - Why Conscious Diet is Torture?

I'm always dieting. I mean I always try to eat more healthy without being too restricting. I'm health conscious and pay attention to what's going on with my body. So even though I am very fond of anything sweet, crunchy and fatty, I know that only vegetables and fruits can satisfy my hunger. I notice that when I eat too much meat, my body heats up but I still feel hungry or at least unsatisfied. The same goes with eating sweets.

Diet alone is not enough. My body also needs to exercise to properly digest the food. Thanks to The You Docs newsletter I've subscribed for months now, I also realized that more inactive I am, the more often I will feel hungry. Is there any wonder why active people can eat little now?

Until 6 days ago, this kind of diet worked for me. It's not demanding and allows me to enjoy a wide variety of food. The problem however lies on the food portion and taking time to exercise (because I naturally prefer activities where I don't have to move much like drawing, playing computer games, washing dishes and so on).

Even though I can eat very little to go on with my daily routine, I enjoy food a little bit too much that I can eat a lot even though I'm not hungry as long the food is delicious. So my body weight ended up like a yoyo because of this. When there's a lot of good food, it goes up the scale. When there aren't that much food, it goes down. Frankly, I don't really care except I went over the top this Raya.

My body weight is now 69.6 kilogram the last time I checked with Tesco body scale and I'm itchy. The only time my body will feel itchy is when my body weight is higher than recommended, when I'm eating badly, when my hygiene is bad, or when I don't have enough exercise :P Heh, I guess I don't really need a body scale or a doctor to tell me if I'm healthy or not.

People can't really tell if they only look at my face and body.. The last time I went to a clinic, the nurse was bewildered to see my body weight was way heavier than what she'd expected by looking at me. She had me on that body scale twice or thrice, I don't remember, but I do love her surprised look :D Oh, by the way, that was 3 or 4 years ago when I was applying for polytechnic admission.

I feel like I should make a change of my diet. I should take charge of my health. I know mom's and aunts' diet aren't good for me and they have tendency to cook too much. I feel guilty if I didn't finish off the food because they look unhappy if people don't enjoy their food. Their food is delicious and it wasn't a hardship to eat them but it's certainly hard to say no to their offer. Of course, there is also my hate to waste anything especially food.

My rule of thumb is never take more than what you can eat. I hate it when my sibling, cousins, colleagues take a lot of food and only finish a small portion of it. I feel like "Why the hell did you take those food? You should know your own limit, you bloody moron!" Other irritating habit that all of these people have (except for my colleagues, we aren't that close) is they would push their leftover to people like me who can eat a lot of food. I'm like, "You care about your waist, what make you think we don't care about ours?" and "You hate to see those go to waste then why the hell did you take that many in the first place?!".

But I eat them anyway because I hate to see those good food goes to waste. I hate thin people sometimes. When I get mad at them, they get mad at me back. They always tell me the same thing like how they feel so hungry that they feel like they can eat like a giant that's why they take a big plate of food and so it's not their fault. Seriously? No matter how hungry you are, you can't eat more than what your stomach will allow, unless you want to feel sick. If you usually eat half of a tiny plate, the most you can eat when you're starving is probably just a full tiny plate.

Don't.Overestimated.Your.Thin.Belly.Period. Especially, if you notice the same routine repeats the same result all the time. It's not like you can't ask for more later.

It's a good thing that my new diet is completely different from my mom's diet. I'm forced to cook for myself and she's forced to cook only for herself and other guests so there's no risk for me to stray from my diet. Oh God, I just hope there's no more wedding invitation I'd have to go during these 40 days, any almost expired food surprises or sudden extra food when guests fail to come accordingly.

This is my second attempt at detox diet already and I hope it'll stay this time.