MUYMG

Mimpi Ditelan Ular

2011-01-22T16:21:00.000+08:00

Tadi aku mimpi ular.

Ramai orang mati tinggal baju saja sebab badan dah dimakan ular termasuk mak aku. Yang hairannya baju mak bersih (baju orang lain aku tak perasan pula). Kalau dimakan ular bukan ke baju tu akan kotor atau ditelan sama? Aku menangis. Kemudian, kami (bukan aku seorang di situ tapi aku tak bagi perhatian pada mereka jadi aku pun tak tahu kalau aku kenal mereka atau tak) jumpa ular berwarna coklat muda dan leper. Sebenarnya aku tak nampak ular makan mak tapi tak tahu kenapa kami ingat ini angkara ular. Ya, aku nampak satu ular saja tapi dalam riuh-rendah tu dengar macam ada banyak ular. Aku tak ingat apa yang jadi lepas tu tapi rasanya aku atau orang lain bunuh ular tu sebelum aku terjaga. Bangun-bangun aku cari mak, dengar suara dia, aku rasa lega dan ucap Alhamdulillah dua tiga kali. Rupanya hanya mainan mimpi saja... Tapi masa aku dalam mimpi tu pun aku rasa tak logik mak dimakan ular. Yelah, baju bersih kan. Macam lesap begitu saja, bukannya sebab ditelan ular.

MUYMG - Nak fikir banyak ke tak?

Tak payahlah... Buang masa je. Cuma satu je la komen aku, kalau pun tak ada makna tersembunyi, aku rasa ada teladan yang boleh diambil dari mimpi ni iaitu benda yang nampak nyata tu tak semestinya betul. Jangan terburu-buru bertindak dek perasaan. Siasat dahulu sebelum buat keputusan. Kesian ular tu kena bunuh walaupun kemungkinan besar bukan salah dia. Akhirnya aku juga yang rasa bersalah.

PS: Sempoi, dalam mimpi pun aku boleh fikir macam tengah buat siasatan, fikir benda logik tak logik!

Life is Great

2010-12-31T06:29:00.004+08:00

Hi again, a double posts in one night :) But they're posted on different times. That's the usual occurence around here.

How are you? I've been busy with my new job as a PPTM. It has been fun and full of horror and nice surprises.

I'm not very reliable yet but I'm trying to be a better person everyday.

I miss writing so I'm going to write a lot today. I hope :)

People around me told me that I won't be so busy. Well, it's not tiring.. but not busy? I'm not sure about that. But that could be because I'm not used to it yet and still learning about the people and place I'm working with. I am often lost looking for a new room and places.

I'm hoping to settle down soon. I hope I will get a lot of time to play. Heh, am I a bad worker for thinking like this?

The internet connection here is awesome. But like I said, I'm busy. So I couldn't take advantage of this benefit just yet.

I don't miss talking to people but, I miss my blog :) It's like talking to someone except that someone is not a living thing.

I wish to interact with someone/something though. I want to have someone to share my opinions and hobbies.

I don't need a lover, I need a partner. Hoping to find that person soon....

Hey blog,

People are scary sometimes but if I don't go through it, I won't learn anything.

Just because people are friendly, doesn't mean they're your friend. I wonder if that's how to describe my own personality.....

Heh, it's lively tonight. My relatives are here. It's fun to see the drama. Human interaction is so interesting.

Mom coughs every night since we came to G. It's great to see her cough subsided just now after I warmed up her back and legs. It seems like it helps her even a little. And then I got to put the socks on her. That one is fun too. I always want to do something for her. I hope she'll get better soon. Damn... I just wrote this and she coughed...

I think that's it for tonight. I hope to see you soon and write a better reading material next time. Have a good night sleep everyone. Bye.

Going Great without Shampoo in My Life

2010-12-29T06:49:00.003+08:00

Fuck you!!!!! The fuckin 'Aw, snap' messages really piss me off! Lately, Google Chrome from PortableApps keep dying on me like this. It's hard to send emails directly from the browser or doing any kind of important job with it right now (ie. using CIMBClick and blogging). I'm rewriting this post for the second time in fact, on my WordPad :P

Okay, getting back to the topic, it's been almost a month (I think) since I stopped washing my hair with any kind of chemical :) It's kinda funny to see the effect so strongly yourself. It took only a few days to cure my dandruff where it took me forever to control it with the usual anti-dandruff shampoos.

My hair looks healthier and darker now. Less hair loss too.

The only downside is it feels gross to wash my hair throughly with water only because the oily feeling doesn't really go away until it dries. But I'm sure it's just because I'm used to wash my hair until the natural oil got totally stripped away.. which kinda makes me wonder if that is what cause the hair loss and dandruff in the first place?

The result afterward is totally awesome though so I don't think I'm gonna touch the shampoo again any time soon :)

I'm not sure what to say about going no soap. I still use it for removing oily substances from my hands (usually after eating). Other than that, maybe for quick hand cleaning after going to the toilet. I don't use it for bathing purpose at all.

As for the benefits, I can feel that my skin is not as dried or tight as before and yet, I still feel as clean.... sorry, cleaner than before. It does take a long time to wash with only water though. And, I have to make sure my nail is trimmed or risk cutting my skin while scrubbing my body (using my hand).

Since I'm going great without shampoo and soap, I managed to convert my mom to follow this lifestyle too. I don't really know what kind of differences it make to her life but, she's not complaining and not returning to using shampoo and soap any time soon. So I take that as a good news.

How about you? Do you think you could stop using shampoo and soap like us?

I know one of the people who cannot do this and that person is my sister but that's because she loves sweet fragrances way too much.

What's your reason?

Sweet potato

2010-12-19T16:22:00.001+08:00

Ubi keledek

Chives

2010-12-19T16:22:00.000+08:00

Daun bawang?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chives

Garlic Chives

2010-12-19T16:19:00.000+08:00

Kucai?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garlic_chives

potato

2010-12-19T06:42:00.000+08:00

ubi kentang

The First PPTM F29 Interview and Result

2010-12-17T06:11:00.000+08:00

I want to report the process in detail but some of it was so long ago and I am not interested enough to try to dig in my memories any further. But, I don't want to totally forgot all about it either because who knows what might happen in the future. So this gonna be quick.

1. I don't remember when I filled in the government job application form on www.spa.gov.my.

2. I don't remember how they inform me if I got the interview or not and the interview details. I found out 2 of my best friends also got the interview in the same place. The dates are all on different days but both of them are a few days earlier than me. F was supposed to be the earliest but she got a problem with her boss so she cannot go on that date. They changed the date for her so F and S ended up with the same date.

3. The interview is held on working day. I went to the interview without telling my boss :P I told him I was sick. The traffic jam was crazy in Farlim. I arrived late however no harm done. I met an acquaintance from PSP. She's younger than me but is already a freelance programmer. How amazing! I also met a lot of other great programmers and people there. I felt like I have nothing special compared to them. One of them is a degree holder. She just gone out but already has her own company and passive income from the project her team had to do for their degree course. Another one is a programmer who was still working... in A PURE PROGRAMMING COMPANY... which is HIRED by the GOVERNMENT ITSELF.... We keep sharing tips and info about the interview and current issues. It was fun.

When it was my turn, the judges (interviewers) seem excited to see me? First, they asked me to tell something about myself. I told them about my hobbies, what I did during my unemployment (designing my guild web interface), my current job and why I want this job. Then they keep asking me about how I get it and if it hard to get it. I got 3.84 CGPA for my Diploma in IT (Programming). I didn't know it matters that much.

Then the unexpected question came out, "What is your strong points and why should we hire you?". Um, none of the candidates got this kind of questions. Even the online notes and forums about the JPA interviews do not mention this. I don't know how to answer it so my first answer came out rather weak. "Even if I don't know how to do something.. I'll do it anyway.." in my full of reluctance voice. They commented on that and told me that this question can be considered as an easy question, which mean the interviewers are giving me a chance to grab the job. So I tried again and this time they like it. I said, "I don't know what my strength is but when I was studying and even now, my friends and family always ask for my help for anything related to IT because I am usually up-to-date with this kind of stuff.". I felt like I am lying but it's true. They are only low level stuff though.

And the last question is if I was sent to work in a remote place where the system and hardware are already complete and fully functional, there are already people hired to key in the data, what do I do? I answered "I'll maintain the system.". Then they asked how to maintain the system. I kinda lost my words right here but one of the interviewers helped me and I managed to answer it. I said something about making sure it works, remove unusable and old items, and something like that :P I don't remember exactly what I said.

All in all, it's quite... weird.. They didn't ask much about programming or networking related question in depth which other candidates seem to get.

I told my F and S about this. F was totally excited and told me that if interviewers ask you this question, it means you already got the job and they just want to give you a chance to show off. O_O Okay.... I didn't know that.

Anyway, by the end of the interview, I got totally freak out. I felt like my chance to get the job is very high and.. strangely.. I don't wan't it. I was scared.

4. A few weeks or months later (I don't remember), the result came out online. I was keep in reserve. F and S didn't get the job either. S said JPA often takes 100 plus workers and keep about 200 in reserve. I don't mind and in fact I was quite happy. I totally forgot all about it.

5. Out of the blue, the offer letter came. My family was very excited. I was not. In fact, the first feeling I registered in my mind is annoyance. I wan't to focus on my online business. I was about to reject the offer but my mom and family keep badgering me and tell me all about the benefits. I changed my mind reluctantly.

I have to report to JPA in Putrajaya on 6 December 2010. A lot of things and documents have to be prepared including mind preparation. Who knows where I will work. I was very nervous, I don't know if I can do my job. Mom helps a lot. I need to do this. I want the money. Besides, this is a chance for me to learn more about computers (which is what I always want to do). So I tried to stop the negative thoughts and think positively. I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.

6. On 6 December 2010, my family and I arrived early. The queue was already very long. I thought I was the only one. I even found my PSP classmate, I. I was so so glad.

They took the two photos, and the acceptance letter. Then they sent us to hear the briefing. It was fun and scary and boring and exciting... depends on the speaker and the topic. I am still afraid of the possibilities and my ability but I keep trying to be positive. My friends and the speakers keep mentioning the same thing. You have to try, leave your ego and keep learning. Don't be afraid to ask. I'll keep that in mind.

Anyway, it seems that most of the job takers are about 25 years old and plus with a lot of job experience. Just a small percentage people in here are younger than that. I'm considered among the youngest. But still, no matter what age they are, everyone in here seems to look very matured and acts very brave. I don't know how I ended up among this people. Okay, stop. No more backstabbing myself.

We mingled with them and managed to gather a few numbers to call :P hehehe... for just in case.

7. And sure enough, I harassed them all day on Wednesday, 8 December 2010. We have to report to our department. My department, PT, was having a meeting which ended after 2 o'clock. It was a blessing in disguise. Even though we were kept waiting in the lobby for them to call us doing nothing, during that time we managed to get to know each other. It was really fun and I managed to gather a lot of info.

8. I was placed to work in G. I don't know what to think. It's no use thinking about it anyway. Since PT said we can report to our office this week or next week provided we call the office (the one in G), I didn't anticipate a total rejection from G office. We were about to go back to Penang but now (9 December 2010)... we have to go straight to G. I expected a mean boss because of the rejection but when I met him, he is quite nice but a strict guy. My colleagues seem very nice and friendly too. My mentor, the senior PPTM in this place wasn't here. After I reported to the office, my boss let me to use the rest of the day to find a place to stay in G.

9. On 10 December 2010, I started working... by filling in the numerous forms. I don't have anything to do for the rest of the day so I spent the morning chatting with my colleagues and exploring the college. At about 9 o'clock my Celcom network connection was suddenly dead, I cannot contact my mom. Apparently this is a common occurence in G. Maxis users in this area seldom have this problem but the best service to use is Digi because it seems like they never have any network problem with it, yet. Around 12 o'clock, the signal is finally back.

I spent the evening with my mom, moving and cleaning our newly rented room. Mom love it because it's really bright and a very strategic place to live. I have to agree with her. Kitchen, bathroom, place to hang laundry are provided. The inhabitants are all female. The rent is cheap. And the best thing of all, everything we need is around us. Just say it, the bus stop, the wet market, furniture shops, clothing stores, the mall, CD store, banks, petrol stations, cellphone repair shops, photo stores, mechanics stores, KFC, fire station, police station, post office, clinics, KWSP, all within a walking distance! :)

Then, we went to KWSP and CIMB to check my KWSP account and create Islamic bank account. Afterward, we went back to the college so I can check out for the day which unfortunately I forgot to do.

When I went back to office, I was fully intending to fill in the rest of the documents but my senior called me for briefing. He is a busy guy and said to be a pro in his job. He was supposed to be attending a course and be back here next week so I didn't expect him to be here. He looks younger than expected (this week is full of surprises). Looking at our shared personal office, hearing his briefing, it seems like I have lots to learn. I wish me luck and all the best.

And like I said, I forgot to check out on my first day of work. Arghh, no use thinking about spilled milk.

So anyway, I wish all new PPTM F29 including me, all the best. May God protects and guides us.

Neutering Your Pet and Wild Life

2010-12-15T06:29:00.000+08:00

Too neuter or not? Personally, I think killing is better and kinder than neutering them. Tomcats I've seen that have been neutered are sad things to look at. It's like they have nothing more to look forward to in life except eating and dying. Sure, they are tamer and unlikely to create havoc in your place anymore but what's the point?

Would you like your *bit* to be chopped off just because you're too wild? Do you really think that would be more humane if it's applicable to human too? If you really love them, shouldn't you accept them for what they are or just let them go?

But then again, even though it's not encouraged, it's not forbidden either in Islam (according to my sources).

Subconsciously, I almost think that.. 'Animal don't have mind like us. While me might resent others for doing this to us, animals would probably feel a little bit confused, forget about it and get on with life. No harm done.' But that would be contradicting stories I've heard and read about our previous prophets conversations with animals. It's hard to think of them as something that can think and have feeling sometimes since I can't talk to them like the prophets.

Anyway, in some of the stories, animals have complained about being walked on (ant) or killed (camel) but Allah doesn't stop us from killing or eating them. So I supposed in that sense, this is a similar situation. To eat or not to eat, to kill or not to kill, to neuter or not to neuter... 'Huh, I wonder if animal can get sexually frustrated?' O_o

Before I started writing this post, I thought 'whatever makes you think neuter is more humane?'. Now that I have written this post.. I'm not so sure anymore. Both neutering and killing can be the better option in different situations. So as long the neutering process doesn't harm the animals and the killing is done swiftly without torturing them.... just do what you feel is right in your situation. Whatever you choose, be kind to them.

My sources:

Why does Islam not allow for cats to be spayed/neutered?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090317092624AATM3Fv

Islam and animals
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_and_animals

Neutering Pets: Permissible?
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503545246

De-clawing a cat so that it won’t do any damage, and neutering/spaying cats
http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/10502

Jicama

2010-12-13T06:10:00.000+08:00

Photo Source: www.defeatdiabetes.org

Jicama is known as Ubi Sengkuang in Malay/Malaysia (source: Wikipedia).

In Indonesia, it is known as Bengkuang (source: Wikipedia).

Photo Source: syeida.blogspot.com

Malaysian usually eat it raw as finger food dipped in Kuah Rojak :)

Handling Stresses by Eating and...

2010-12-11T22:24:00.001+08:00

I realized that the more stressed I am, the most likely I would overeat, oversleep, skipping prayers, and silent as a kitten.

So far, I tried to keep only good food around me so I can't overeat (as they weren't easy to eat a lot)

What, no shampoo and soap?!

2010-12-10T06:53:00.000+08:00

'No Poo' - Going No Shampoo Successfully

Okay, now that stops me for awhile. It's bad enough we're called uncivilized for going raw on food, and now we're going to abandon the shampoo too? But then again, the idea doesn't sound that bad or weird. It's intriguing. I mean, how do people wash their hair and body before soap and shampoo exist?

Hm, so how indeed?
Linda S answered this question in Yahoo Answer (chosen as Best Answer).

It's scary but no, that's not the answer I'm looking for. It's too focused on Western society and harmful 'natural' products.

Anyway, I continued reading on the challenge, clicking on the links, reading the testimonies and it makes sense. It's true that the more I shampoo my hair using the modern shampoo, the worse my hair gets.

Before this, I don't shampoo my hair quite so much. I don't know why I started shampooing frequently lately but my scalp just feels so dirty and it gets quicker and quicker to get oily these days. Now, my used to be beautiful-shiny-healthy-brownish black hair is so dry it changed color to brownish red!

So it must be the chemical. Some might say it because I clean my hair too much but that doesn't explains why it becomes easier to get dirty the more I wash.

Actually, come to think of it, I have unconsciously tried this no shampoo and soap method for awhile when I was living alone and the result was great. Back then, I washed my hair and body with only water. No other products used, modern or natural, honest! I only came back to civilization after living with my family again :)

Oh, by the way, I dropped the shampoo and soup at that time because of these very same questions. It's not because I was being cheap or lack of money. No one realized it, no one commented on my scent.

That makes me wonder if there are other people who don't use soap either. Sure enough, there are!
Si Dawson
Richard Nikoley (lots of readers' testimonies too!)

Of course, they still use soap after going to the toilet and before preparing food. Anyway, after experimenting with no soap and shampoo, they all (including their readers) agreed that the results are great no matter what hair type or skin type you have.

I'm not gonna explain why using shampoo and soap makes your hair and skin worse. Just click on the links, they have explain it in detail.

So, I'm going back to use no shampoo and soap but I don't think I'm gonna make a log or report about this. I'm just too undisciplined (sigh at my Detox Diet Experiment) to record it properly. Besides, there are lots more other things in my mind to share here. I don't know, depends on my mood I guess :)

I'm so glad and thankful that the internet exists. Thanks to God and the person who found the internet :)

Wardrobe is what in Malay?

2010-12-08T06:53:00.182+08:00

I keep browsing for basic and simple wardrobe in English because I don't know what wardrobe is in Malay? I found an article in zyera's blog that answer my question but the article has not enough information. So I'm starting to wonder if I should write in Malay instead of English. I am envious of Japanese people because I heard they can find any information in their own language instead of having to rely on other nation's language.

Anyway, Google Translate directly translates wardrobe as lemari pakaian. Yes, that's actually Indonesian. In Malay lemari is almari. However, when people are talking about wardrobe, they are probably NOT talking about the closet but the clothes collection in it. So in this case, when people are searching for wardrobe or wardrobe basic and so on in Malay, I believe the correct term for the wardrobe should be koleksi pakaian.

Unfortunately, those search terms with koleksi pakaian in it bring me nowhere near of what I'm looking for, a guide for Malaysian/Malay/Malaysian Muslimah basic wardrobe. Google Search result returns links to articles about what clothing are for, how to sew clothes, clothes collection for sale and other random weird articles that somehow contains that term *sweatdrop*

One of those random things I found is this PDF file which delves into online system for Muslim women office wear consulting service copyrighted by UITM. It's an interesting project paper written by Edzuina Mohd Sharif. You can download the file here but it's not a full report. I don't know how to get the full report, explore the site yourself.

So I guess that means I'm not going to find a Malay guide on this matter anytime soon. The idea of writing it myself sounds fun but, I'm not a fashion expert. Maybe translating the English to Malay articles would be better? Hm... More fun things to ponder... :)

Clothes That are Hard to Throw Away

2010-12-06T06:40:00.000+08:00

Following my post about choosing a nice but easy to maintain wardrobe, I can truthfully write here that I haven't done anything yet. I think about it a lot but I don't know how to go for it.

Part of the reason is because I'm afraid I'll throw out a good cloth by mistake. I have a lot of clothes but I only like some of them. So during a wardrobe clean sweep, I usually throw away clothes I don't like. Clothes that I do like however are very comfortable but mostly worn out (because I wear them often) and actually should be thrown away already. Clothes that I don't like to wear are usually aesthetically pleasing to the eyes and looks good on me but uncomfortable.

Logically I should throw away the old, worn-out, ratty clothes and keep the ones in good condition. However, I'm afraid to do so because I have a hard time to find clothes I really like. What I like is comfort. Therefore, I don't want to throw away those comfortable clothes because I certainly don't want to wear the uncomfortable clothes.

The logical solution here is to go shopping, isn't it?

Feeling Frustrated is a Good Source of Inspiration

2010-12-04T19:22:00.001+08:00

Just read the 55 Ways How To Find Your Hidden Talent. Well, the title explains it all but one of the interesting ideas is Idea Number 25, Fix Your Frustration.

Reading 55 Ways How to Find Your Hidden Talents

2010-12-04T18:51:00.001+08:00

What frustrates me?
- System dysfunction
It's either because of lack of system, or lack of system implementation or way too complex system.

- Lack of personal space
My mind stops me from doing what I intend to do.

Write According To.. The Writing Schedule?

2010-12-03T06:55:00.000+08:00

Do you have a writing schedule? I sure didn't realize such thing exist until I stumbled upon an article shared on an accomplished blog. I don't remember which blog it is.

I thought blogging is like writing a diary, you write whatever you like whenever you feel like it. Or if you're a professional blogger, I thought it means posting anything related to blog topics according to schedule.

Wait, that means writing according to the schedule too.. No, what I mean is a more detailed schedule. This particular blogger has an interesting schedule. I don't remember exactly how it went but his schedule is something like these:

Monday Just light stuff because Monday is usually dreary and stressful
Wednesday Technical or IT related news
Friday I don't remember but his life maybe?

It's interesting but I totally forgot all about it until today. I think it's useful for someone with a lot of interests and need to learn some discipline like me :)

If I Could Write or Edit Stuff All Day While Earning Money

2010-12-01T16:17:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I have too much time or too much idea that I write and write and write too much blog posts than I'm comfortable with to publish all at one time (actually my limit is one post per day and 3 posts per week). So most of the time, what you read in here is most probably written days ago before it was published. For right now, I have like 2-3 weeks worth of posts O_o

And then sometimes, I went into hibernation when I write nothing for weeks. Lately though, I find the more I write, the more idea I get, the more posts I write in one sitting. I find myself to write whenever I'm bored on paper, on computer, cellphone, whatever I can find my hands on O_o

Sometimes I wonder, if I could just write all day without worry about money, wouldn't that be fun? I love browsing the internet. There are a whole bunch of stuff I want to read, learn or try. I want to create something worthwhile, I want to have fun.

Talking about fun, I've made my first e-book :D Yay!!! Seriously, I was so excited. It's fun and very easy to make but I feel like I've crossed over a bridge I feel like I can fly (I know it didn't make sense but that's how it felt like). I don't even have to pay anything to create it and the info is really easy to get.

But the reason I created it is because it's too much work remember which thing is where. Browser bookmarks have their own limitation. Just because the link is there, doesn't mean you know what info is contained in it. So I made it for myself. Then I realized, it looks too good not to share with others. Too bad, I have to little people to share it with.

So I decided to share it with my 2 best friends. I even changed the editor name (me) to their names in their e-book copies. Okay, maybe not so free, after all they have helped me a lot in the past.

I keep having this stupid desire to not share it with them at first. I admit it that I am a childish, immature and greedy but it would be a shame not to share it with other people. After all, it's a useful thing. It can't help with my current situation, but it can help theirs. And considering that they have helped me a lot in the past while I have nothing to give them, I can't help but want to do something for them anyway.

Just small stuff, like translating the paragraph and rearrange it so it makes more sense and less

For real time updates, it's better to visit my Twitter profile but of course, it wouldn't be as completed or full of details.

The Point of Writing

2010-12-01T06:46:00.000+08:00

I love reading but I have a hard time reading things that don't interest me (so does everyone else). I love blogging because I love creating something. I used to be good at writing during primary and secondary education. But, I found no motivation to write after that because there's just no point in doing it. I mean, even if I write it, no one is gonna read it, it's not useful, and it's not going to help my grade anymore.

Every now and then, the plot bunny sometimes become too much too handle and my hand itches to write and so I end writing those embarrassing fan fictions and weird fictions. My sister found one of the fan fictions by accident and said it was good (she is an aspiring fiction writer and dreams to write her own novel someday). I wasn't sure which fiction she's referring too but it was a nice stroke to my ego :)

I love fan fictions because I already know who the characters are and why I like, am neutral to or dislike them. And with every plots and stories, there must be something you wish would have happened or didn't happened in the storyline. And that's what fan fictions are for, I'm so glad they exist. I am quite stunned to learn that there are a lot of amazing writers that start writing smuts since they're 13 years old or so on www.fanfiction.net. Not that I'm complaining...

Strangely, when it comes to visual media like mangas, comics, and movies I prefer it light and humorous or totally action-packed. I prefer to keep the romance at minimum. I'm not interested in those seductive scenes, it feels weird. Even though I like Eat.Pray.Love the movie, I have to turn my face during those scenes. It's too intimate, I feel like I'm intruding their moments.

Some of my old favorites are movies made by Disney like Pocahontas, Anastasia, The Little Mermaid, Aladdin and The Lion King. The songs and the soundtracks are incredible. Come to think of it, most movies I like have good songs and soundtracks in them. It's the component that makes the movie truly mind blowing, engaging and powerful that makes you feel like you're at the scenes. Every bad movies should have them. It makes it easier for the audiences to go through the torture till the end.

I still see no point in sharing this with others but, I feel like writing it. So there.

Kenapa Yahudi Bijak?

2010-11-29T06:54:00.000+08:00

Penulis
Dr. Stephen Carr Leon

Di alih bahasa oleh
Adibah Mohd Noor
Matriculation Lecturer,
Department of Sciences
UIA Matriculation Centre,
Petaling Jaya, Selangor.

Setelah berada 3 tahun di Israel kerana menjalani housemanship dibeberapa hospital disana, ada beberapa perkara yang menarik dapat saya perhatikan untuk dijadikan tesis ini, iaitu "Mengapa Yahudi Bijak?". Memang tidak dapat dinafikan ramai cendikiawan berbangsa Yahudi, dari segala bidang, Engineering, musik, saintis dan yang paling hebat ialah bidang perniagaan, dimana ia memang paling tersohor. Hampir 70% perniagaan di dunia dikuasai oleh kaum Yahudi, dari kosmetik, pakaian, pemakanan, senjata, perhotelan, perfileman di Hollywood dan sebagainya.

Ketika tahun kedua, akhir bulan December 1980 dan sedang saya menghitung hari untuk pulang ke California saya terfikir apakah sebabnya kaum Yahudi begitu pintar? Kenapa tuhan memberi kelebihan kepada mereka? Apakah ini suatu kebetulan? Atau olah manusia sendiri? Adakah bijak boleh dijana? Seperti kilang pengeluaran? Maka saya pon tergerak membuat tesis untuk Phd saya, disamping kebaikan untuk umat sejagat dan dapat hidup secara harmoni. Untuk pengetahuan anda tesis yang saya lakukan ini mengambil masa hampir lapan tahun, ini kerana untuk mengumpulkan data-data yang setepat mungkin. Antara data-data yang saya kumpulkan ialah pemakanan, adat resam, ugama, persiapan awal untuk melahirkan zuriat dan sebagainya dan data data tadi saya cuba bandingkan dengan bangsa dan kaum kaum lain.

Marilah kita mulakan dengan persiapan awal melahirkan zuriat. Di Israel, setelah mengetahui yang sang ibu sedang mengandung, pertama kali saya perhatikan ialah, sang ibu akan sering menyanyi dan bermain piano dan si ibu dan bapa akan membeli buku metamatik dan menyelesaikan masalah metamatik bersama suami, saya sungguh hairan kerana teman saya yang mengandung sering membawa buku metamatik dan bertanya kepada saya beberapa soalan yang beliau tak dapat menyelesaikanya, oleh kerana saya memang minat tentang metamatik, tentu saja dengan senang saya bantu beliau. Saya bertanya kepada beliau, adakah ini untuk anak kamu? Beliau menjawab, "ia, ini untuk anak saya yang masih didalam kandungan, saya sedang melatih otak beliau, semuga ia menjadi genius apabila dewasa kelak" Perkara ini membuat saya tertarik untuk mengikut perkembangan beliau seterusnya. Berbalik kepada metamatik tadi, tanpa merasa jenoh beliau membuat latihan metamatik sehingga beliau melahirkan anak.

Seperkara lagi yang saya perhatikan ialah pemakanan beliau, sejak awal mengandung beliau gemar sekali memakan kacang badam dan korma bersama susu, dan untuk tengah hari makan utama beliau ialah roti dan ikan tanpa kepala bersama salad yang digaul dengan badam dan berbagai jenis kekacang, menurut beliau daging ikan sungguh baik untuk perkembangan otak dan kepala ikan mengandungi kimia yang tidak baik yang dapat merosakkan pengembangan dan penumbuhan otak anak didalam kandungan. menurut beliau ini adalah adat orang orang yahudi ketika mengandung dan ianya menjadi semacam kewajipan untuk ibu ibu yang sedang mengandung mengambil pil minyak ikan.

Ketika saya diundang untuk makan malam bersama orang orang Yahudi, perkara pertama yang saya perhatikan ialah menu mereka.. Setiap undangan yg sama perhatikan ialah mereka gemar sekali memakan ikan (hanya isi atau fillet) dan biasanya daging tidak akan ada bersama dimeja jika ada ikan, menurut mereka, campuran daging dan ikan tak elok dimakan bersama. Salad dan kacang adalah suatu kemestian, terutama badam.

Seperkara yang pelik ialah mereka akan memakan buah buahan dahulu sebelum memakan hidangan utama. Jangan terperanjat jika anda diundang kerumah Yahudi anda akan dihidangkan buah buahan dahulu. Menurut mereka, dengan memakan hidangan kabohidrat (nasi atau roti) dahulu kemudian buah buahan, ini akan menyebabkan kita merasa ngantuk dan lemah dan payah untuk memahami pelajaran disekolah.

Di Israel, merokok adalah taboo, apabila anda diundang makan dirumah Yahudi, jangan sekali kali merokok, dan tanpa malu mereka akan menyuruh anda keluar dari rumah mereka dam merokok diluar rumah mereka. Menurut saintis di Universiti Israel , siasatan menunjukkan nikotin dapat merosakkan sel utama pada otak manusia dan akan melekat pada genes, ini bermakna keturunan perokok bakal membawa generasi yg cacat otak ( bodoh atau lembab). Suatu penemuan yg dahsyat ditemui oleh saintis yg mendalami bidang genes dan DNA. Para perokok harap ambil perhatian. (Ironi nya, pemilik pengeluar rokok terbesar adalah ...... tekalah sendiri..!)

Perhatian saya selanjutnya ialah melawati tadika mereka, Pemakanan anak anak tadi cukup dikawal, makanan awal ialah buah buahan bersama kacang badam, diikuti dengan menelan pil minyak ikan (code oil lever) Didalam pengamatan saya, kanak Yahudi sungguh bijak dan rata rata mereka memahami 3 bahasa iaitu Hebrew, Arab dan Inggeris dan sedari awal lagi mereka telah dilatih bermain piano dan violin, ini adalah suatu kewajipan. Menurut mereka bermain musik dan memahami nota notanya dapat meningkatkan lagi IQ kanak kanak dan sudah tentu bakal menjadikan budak itu bijak. Ini menurut saintis Yahudi, gegaran musik dapat stimulate (semacam senaman untuk otak) maka itu terdapat ramai sekali genius musik terdiri dari kaum Yahudi.

Seterusnya ke darjah 1 hingga 6, anak anak Yahudi akan diajar matematik berkonsepkan perniagaan dan pelajaran sains amatlah diberi keutamaan. Di dalam perhatian peribadi saya, perbandingan dengan anak anak di California, ianya jauh berbeza tentang IQ dan boleh saya katakan 6 tahun kebelakang!! !. Segala pelajaran akan dengan mudah di tangkap oleh anak Yahudi. Selain dari pelajaran tadi sukan juga menjadi kewajipan bagi mereka dan sukan yg diberi keutamaan ialah memanah, menembak dan berlari, menurut teman saya ini, memanah dan menembak dapat melatih otak mem fokus sesuatu perkara disamping mempermudahkan persiapan untuk perhidmatan negara.

Selanjutnya pemerhatian saya menuju ke sekolah tinggi (menengah) di sini murid-murid ditekan dengan pelajaran sains dan mereka digalakkan mencipta produk. Segala projek mereka walaupon kadangkala kelihatannya lucu dan mengarut, tetap diteliti dengan serius apatah lagi ianya berupa senjata, perubatan dan engineering, idea itu akan dibawa ke institute tinggi di Politeknik dan Universiti.

Satu lagi yang diberi keutamaan ialah fakulti perniagaan. Saya sungguh terperanjat melihat mereka begitu agresif dan seriusnya mereka tentang perniagaan. Di akhir tahun di universiti, para penuntut dibidang niaga dikehendaki melakukan projek dan mempraktikkannya dan anda hanya akan lulus jika kumpulan anda (10 pelajar setiap kumpulan) dapat keuntungan sebanyak $US1juta! Anda terperanjat? Itulah kenyataan, dengan rangkaian seluruh dunia dan ditaja sepenuhnya oleh syarikat milik Yahudi, maka tidak hairanlah mereka dapat menguasai ½ perniagaan didunia! Siapakah yg mencipta design Levis yg terkini? Ianya dicipta di Universiti Israel oleh fakulti bisnes dan fesyen.

Pernahkah anda melihat cara orang Yahudi melakukan ibadah mereka? Salah satu caranya ialah dengan menggoyangkan kepala mereka, menurut mereka ini dapat mengaktifkan otak mereka dan menambahkan oksijan dikepala, banyak ugama lain di Timur Tengah, seperti Islam juga ada menyuruh umatnya menunduk atau menggoyangkan kepala, ini guna dapat mensimulasikan otak kita supaya bertambah aktif. Lihat orang orang Jepun, mereka sering menunduk-nundukkan kepala dan ianya sebagai adat. Ramai orang orang Jepun yg pandai? Adakah ianya sebagai kebetulan? Kegemaran mereka ialah sushi (ikan mentah). Adakah ini kebetulan? Fikirkanlah!

Berpusat di New York, Dewan Perniagaan Yahudi bersedia membantu mereka yg berminat untuk melakukan bisnes (sudah tentu untuk Yahudi sahaja). Jika mereka ada idea yg bernas, jawatan kuasa akan memberi pinjaman tanpa faedah dan pentadbir dari jawatan kuasa tadi akan bekerjasama dengan anda untuk memastikan yg perniagaan mereka menurut landasan yg betul. Maka itu lahirlah Starbuck, Dell, Coca cola, DKNY, Oracle, Perfileman di Hollywood, Levis, Dunkin Donut dan ada beratus kedai ternama dibawah naungan dewan perniagaan Yahudi di New York. Graduan Yahudi dari fakulti perubatan New York akan disarankan untuk mendaftar dipersatuan ini dan digalakkan memulakan klinik mereka sendiri dengan bantuan wang tanpa faedah. Barulah saya tahu mengapa hospital di New York dan California sentiasa kekurangan doktor pakar.

Kesimpulannya, pada teori saya, melahirkan anak dan keturunan yg bijak boleh dilaksanakan dan tentunya bukan semalaman, ianya memerlukan masa, beberapa generasi mungkin? Persiapan awal adalah ketika sang ibu mengandung, galakkanlah si ibu melakukan latihan matematik yg mudah tetapi konsisten di samping mendengar musik klasik (bagi umat Islam lebih baik diperdengarkan bacaan ayat suci Al-Quran - admin). Seterusnya ubahlah cara pemakanan, makanlah makanan yg elok dan berkhasiat yg baik untuk otak, menghayati musik sejak kecil adalah baik sekali untuk pertumbuhan otak kanak kanak, dengan bermain piano dan violin sudah tentu dapat melatih anak anak mencerdaskan otak mereka. Demikian juga sukan yg memerlukan kosentrasi yg tinggi, seperti memanah, bola keranjang, dart dan menembak. Merokok menjanjikan generasi yg moron (goblok) dan sudah tentu genes bodoh akan mengikut ke generasi si perokok. Lawatan saya ke Singapore pada tahun 2005 amat memeranjatkan sekali! Di sini perokok seperti di anak tirikan dan begitu susah sekali untuk perokok, dan anda tahu berapa harga sekotak rokok? US$ 7 !!! ini bersamaan perbelanjaan sehari untuk makan anda!! Saya puji sekali sikap pemerintah Singapore dan menakjubkan sekali!!! Dan seperti Israel ianya begitu taboo dan cara pentadbiran dan segi pembelajaran mereka hampir serupa dengan Israel , maka itu saya lihat banyak institusi pelajaran mereka bertaraf dunia walaupun hakikatnya negeri Singapore hanyalah sebuah pulau sebesar Manhattan !!

Anda mungkin musykil, benarkah merokok dapat melahirkan generasi goblok? Saya telah menemui beberapa bukti menyokong teori ini. Lihat saja Indonesia, jika anda ke Jakarta, di mana saja anda berada, dari restoran, teater, kebun bunga hingga ke muzium, hidung anda akan segera terbau asap rokok! Dan harga rokok? Cuma US$ .70cts !!! dan hasilnya? Dengan penduduknya berjumlah jutaan orang berapa banyakkah universiti terdapat di sana? Hasil apakah yg dapat dibanggakan? Teknologi? Jauh sekali. Adakah mereka dapat berbahasa selain dari bahasa mereka sendiri? Mengapa mereka begitu sukar sekali menguasai bahasa Inggeris? Ditangga berapakah kedudukan mereka di pertandingan matematik sedunia? Adakah ini bukan akibat merokok? Anda fikirlah sendiri.

Di tesis saya ini, saya tidak akan menimbulkan soal ugama atau bangsa, adakah Yahudi itu zalim sehingga diusir dari semenjak zaman Paraoh hingga ke Hitler, bagi saya itu isu politik dan survival, yg ingin saya ketengahkan ialah, mampukah kita dapat melahirkan generasi yg bijak seperti Yahudi? Jawapannya ialah mungkin dan tidak mustahil dan ianya memerlukan perubahan, dari segi pemakanan dan cara mendididik anak dan saya kira hanya memerlukan 3 generasi sahaja. Ini dapat saya lihat sendiri tentang cucu saya, ini setelah saya mengajar anak saya melalui program yg telah saya nyatakan di atas tadi, pada umur 9 tahun (cucu saya) dia dapat menulis esei sepanjang 5 mukasurat penuh. Eseinya hanyalah mengenai 'Mengapa saya gemarkan tomato! ' Selamat sejahtera dan semuga kita dapat melahirkan manusia yg bijak dan bersifat mulia untuk kebaikan manusia sejagat tanpa mengenal batasan bangsa.

Sumber
http://handonfeet.blogspot.com/2010/08/kenapa-yahudi-bijak.html
* Diambil dan dikongsi semula dengan kebenaran pemilik blog

Raw Food Combining Secret

2010-11-26T06:56:00.000+08:00

I tried the Detox Diet without having all the details. I supposed it is rather different reading a book than reading a whole website.

It's not a bad experience but I wished I had found Raw Energy Food Combining Diet by Leslie Kenton a lot sooner. For once it made sense why I should and shouldn't eat certain things or when it's just a case of bad combination.

Here's the book summary written on its back cover:
Food combining is a smart way to shed unwanted fat without counting one calorie. It is also a way of living that will prevent premature aging, illness and fatigue. Containing an outline of suggested menus to get your started, Raw Energy Food Combining Diet is packed with hundreds of mouthwatering recipes - including fabulous fruits and seeds to super salads, soups and vegetables - from which to choose your meals every day of the week. Not just a weight-loss diet, Raw Energy Food Combining Diet will make you feel more alive than ever before. It is easy:

Don't mix foods that fight
Eat only fruits for breakfast
Go for the water margin
Get into living food
Eat all you want

The book doesn't use technical or scientific jargon and explain everything in the simplest way possible which is fine for people like me.

Still it's a little bit too much information for me to get at once. I've finished reading it (though I skipped most of the recipes) but I feel like I need to read it again and again to really get it.

You can read some of the book's extract here:
http://www.lesliekenton.com/activebar/booksvideostapes/Books/Raw%20Energy%20Food%20Combining%20.htm

Anyway for now, what I understand is:

Fruits should be eaten alone.
Melon fruits should not be mixed with other fruits.
Breakfast should be fruits based only.
After eating fruits, wait 30 minutes before eating anything else.
Bananas, dates and dried fruits however stay longer in the body. Wait for at least 45 minutes before eating anything else.
To lose weight, steer clear of dried fruits until all the excess weight has been shed.
People who are not used to eating fruits might experience bloating and wind for 1-2 days. If the symptoms persist, consult a qualified nutritionist or doctor trained in nutrition.
Living food as sprouts, fruits and vegetables have special properties in their water content that really helps body to digest food
Protein and starch based food should never be mixed together because the enzymes needed to break them down is way too different
Wait 4-5 hours between protein and starch meals
Don't overeat, or under eat. Just eat until satisfied.
Want more? Read it!

Aww, I don't wanna give this book back to the library.. Can I just keep it to myself? Tehe.... :P

PS: This book explains why my Muslim friends said milk mixed with almond / any nut is good, milk mixed with dates is good but milk mixed with carrot is not so good. I asked my friends why is that so but none of them have the answer.

Physical Bad Habits That Cause Constipation

2010-11-24T06:40:00.000+08:00

People around me doesn't seem to have this problem.. but I do since.. forever. But then again, according to this article about Constipation, the causes of constipation are:

not enough fiber in the diet
lack of physical activity (especially in the elderly)
medications
milk
irritable bowel syndrome
changes in life or routine such as pregnancy, aging, and travel
abuse of laxatives
ignoring the urge to have a bowel movement
dehydration
specific diseases or conditions, such as stroke (most common)
problems with the colon and rectum
problems with intestinal function (chronic idiopathic constipation)

Unlikely reasons: 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12
I used to eat whatever but I always include veggies in my meal so I don't think the problem is because of the lack of fiber. Huh, I didn't know milk can cause constipation but no, I don't drink milk, yogurts and curds (dadih) that often either... Changes in life or routine has nothing to do with it since it has been going on forever. Abuse of laxatives, impossible! I plain hate any kind of drugs and medicines! Specific diseases or conditions... I don't have any or none of I'm aware of. Problems with the colon and rectum... Uh, that... how do we check that? I'm pretty sure I'm clean in that area though. Same with reason number 12.

Possible reasons: 2, 5, 8, 9
Um, yeah... I rarely move at all except to take a bath, pray, sleep, eat, sitting in front of the computer... *wince* Okay, that's a really bad idea if I want to stay healthy 50 years to come. IBS is hard to diagnose online. I've never got a medical check up for that but considering I always have some type of abdominal discomfort (bloating, cramps, et cetera) and is either constipated or having Diarrhea... it is possible I do have IBS. Er, number 8 is also very possible especially when I'm busy or too focused on something.. Same situation with number 9.

Well, looking at possible reasons, I'd say the main problem actually lies on my physical bad habits instead of my dietary habits and medical concerns.

Home Remedies for Curing Constipation

2010-11-22T06:55:00.000+08:00

These home remedies collection were taken from SusuIbu.com forum:

arnienh
minum fresh orange suam

** Drink warm and fresh orange juice.

shnurulain
minum air masak banyak2..banyakkan makan buah2 (esp orange)..Sayur2-an..

zatul77
makan la sayur dan buah yang boleh dimakan oleh orang berpantang macam sawi dan buah epal.Insya Allah tak ada masalah membuang..minum air juga perlu cukup 8 gelas

** Translation: Drink lots of water, fruits and vegetable especially orange, apple and mustard green (?).

noorul
Masak bubur bersama2 sedikit halia yang ditumbuk. Rebus sekali lah halia tu dengan bubur tu..Kemudian, masa bubur tu tengah panas2 lagi, goreng 2-3 biji bawang putih garing2, (bawang putih tu tak payah tumbuk, goreng sebiji2), lepas tu angkat bawang putih tu masukkan dalam periuk bubur yang masih panas tu. Tutup periuk bubur biar wap bubur tu menyebatikan rasa bawang putih tu dalam bubur tadi.

** Translation: Boil rice porridge with crushed ginger and when it's done, add 2-3 freshly roasted garlic when it's still hot. Cover the lid and let the vapor mix the garlic well with the porridge. This recipe is said to work too well sometimes.

momdad
kalau saya cuba elakkan minum milo utk elak sembelit

** Translation: Avoid drinking Milo to avoid constipation.

How to make homemade yogurt and yogurt starter?

2010-11-19T06:47:00.000+08:00

Yogurt belongs in those 'is it really raw or not' question. I'm sure there are a lot of ways to make yogurt but this is a very easy homemade yogurt recipe I got from my mom.

Ingredients

Yogurt starter - Leftover from commercial yogurt
Milk

Instructions

Add milk to the leftover yogurt.
Leave it overnight at room temperature.
And.. that's it! It's done!

Very easy, right? But I wonder the commercial yogurt is made. It's quite frustrating really. I can't believe there are a lot of guides on how to make yogurt at home but none of them include any explanation of what yogurt starter are made of and how it is really made. It's like they don't even care and automatically label it as raw!

I tried asking my mom just now and she got annoyed at me.

You want to go to Kuala Lumpur from Pulau Pinang. The car is already there to bring you to Kuala Lumpur on the spot... If you want to go to Kuala Lumpur now, why do you have to care of how the car is made of right now? Think about it slowly later!

But mom.... how would I know if it's really raw if I don't know where it come from and how it comes to exist? Of course, I didn't voice it to her because she doesn't know how to make it anyway. So I went back prowling on the internet. The answers were.. uh, enlightening.. and weird...

1) By jilly123 on chowhound.chow.com *I like this answer! The easiest too!
i use raw organic goat milk and just leave it on my counter for a few days. granted, it's not creamy like how we are used to it in the stores, but it's yogurt.

2) By wyersmd on chowhound.chow.com *the weirdest answer
Nobody here is going to believe this, but the only way that I know of to make yogurt without a yogurt starter is with -
ants.
You are guffawing now, or at least chortling - maybe snorting perhaps in disbelief: "Yeah right buddy, you're pullin my leg. Ants, what a load of crock!"
Let me explain.
I am an American living in Turkey (as a translator), where yogurt is a daily staple. I got curious one day and started asking my Turkish friends here how the original yogurt starter was made, and was met with blank looks. Chicken and egg story, right? Yogurt comes from - well, yogurt, naturally.
So a Turkish friend and I went online one night, bent on solving this mystery: where the hell do those bacteria come from and where can I get them?
Well friends, the answer is right in your backyard.
There are two ways to get the bacteria, that we found; one, using the soil from an anthill, or using crushed ant eggs.
I cannot vouch however for American ants, I don't know if they carry the same bacteria as ants in Turkey (I am not a biologist, I am a translator and a university academic). But the situation is this:
as with regular yogurt making, where you add a pre-existing yogurt culture to milk, you have to heat the milk (a jar's worth). Then, you add the mashed up ant eggs (about 30 eggs will do), or a good pinch of soil from an ant hill. Seal and bundle up, so that the bacteria stay cozy and get to work on reproducing. After a day, open up and there will be a medley of liquid (kind of a whey) and white solids. The white solid, which looks a bit like feta cheese, is your starter.
Again heat your milk in a clean container, and this time add a tablespoon-size lump of the starter, and shake or stir a bit. Then seal, wrap and let sit for about 4 to 6 hours. Upon opening, you will find that you have yogurt. Made from ants. You can terrify your friends with this.
According to the Turkish web pages we found, the best-tasting yogurt comes from anthill soil.
I am pasting below a link to a video. It is in Turkish, so find a Turkish friend to help you work through it. But even if you can't speak Turkish, just watch along and you can pick up on what's going on:

http://www.annemmutfakta.tv/video/hulya-erol/evde-gida/arastirma-karinca-yumurtasindan-yogurt-mayalamak/index.html

I am pasting below another link, which is a text web page which details a study which arrived at the same results. It is also in Turkish, so find a translator:

http://www.ekoses.com/ekolojikyasampo...

Last night I happened to meet some Austrian biologists here in Istanbul who were baffled by this idea that the yogurt culture is actually carried by ants. Baffled isn't enough. They were flabbergasted. They refused to accept this. I was met by all-around rejection and stern looks. They told me that the yogurt-producing bacteria is actually found in the stomachs of cows. Which may also be correct. In Austria. My German is not good enough to hunt this down, but it could also be an interesting lead, for anyone with good German.

In light of the fact that NOTHING in English on the web touches on this subject successfully (that's how I found this web page, in my fruitless search to find an alternative answer), I felt compelled to post this. Cheers, and happy ant-yogurt making.

3) By jkarra on chowhound.chow.com *A great answer but then it can't be considered as raw
My mother-in-law from India taught me how to make yogurt without a starter.. use a small tamarind (u can get dried at Indian store) and a dried red chili in only a small amount of boiled milk. You let that set, then use that for the starter of the next batch. Repeat steps of boiling small amount of milk and using the new set "starter" until the yogurt smells correctly (about 4-5 times)

4) By V. L. Hamlin on eHow.com *Another great answer for non raw people

Pour the milk into a stainless steel pot and heat until it is 185 degrees. You can use whole milk, skim or soy. However, organic milk will produce the best flavor and nutrition to the yogurt.
Allow the milk to cool until it is about 110 degrees.
Stir the dry culture into the milk as directed by the manufacturer. Each culture manufacturer's measurements are different, so read the label before mixing it into the milk.
Pour the mixture into a quart-sized jar with a tight-fitting lid. Glass jars work best, however, plastic containers can be used in a pinch.
Place two jars of hot water into a cooler. Add the jar of yogurt starter to the cooler and close the lid. Allow it to sit in the closed cooler for 4 to 6 hours.
Place the yogurt starter into the refrigerator after the curds have formed. Enjoy the yogurt cold with honey, fruit or maple syrup.

So, that means no commercial yogurt for raw people and the alternatives aren't that great either. See how commercial yogurt is made here, here and here.

I was about to give up on yogurt but then I remembered another easy recipe for homemade yogurt my mom gave me.

Ingredients

1 part of sour milk
7 part of milk

Instructions

Add milk to sour milk.
Leave it overnight at room temperature.
And.. that's it! It's done!

:) I think it should be obvious by now what my next question is going to be... What is Sour Milk? Where Sour Milk comes from? How Sour Milk is made?

An excerpt from wikipedia
Sour milk in recipes

In recipes, soured milk created by the addition of an acid or by bacterial fermentation can often be used interchangeably. For example, 1 cup of cultured buttermilk, a soured milk produced by bacterial fermentation, can be replaced by 1 tablespoon of lemon juice or vinegar plus enough milk to make 1 cup. The chemically soured milk can be used after standing for 5 minutes.

By torque63 on eHow.com

Place 1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice or distilled white vinegar in a glass measuring cup.
Add in milk (2% or richer) to equal 1 cup. Stir.
Let stand for 15 minutes until it looks like its beginning to curdle or slightly curdled.

Now, that sounds really easy and raw! :)

Special Ingredients That Help With Constipation

2010-11-17T19:10:00.003+08:00

I didn't think much about the remedies I got from SusuIbu.com forum. And then I wonder if there is special properties in these ingredients...

Orange

Mustard Green

Apple

Rice Porridge

Ginger

Garlic

Milo

Alhamdulillah, I'm Still Alive to Celebrate My 2010 Birthday

2010-11-17T06:55:00.022+08:00

I wonder if my friends have ever read this blog. Of course, I've never shared with them. I've post the link once or twice on my Facebook but I've never said that it's mine :) So they probably didn't know it's me.

I wonder if any of them have similar interest to mine? I guess I'll never know that answer either since I'm not planning to ask them anytime soon. What's the point? On second thought... they might introduce me to another raw eater... but then again, that's very unlikely in Malaysia and in my circle of friends :P

So I wonder if there is anything significant is going to happen today or this year. It has been eventful so far.

I got a job interview as a Web Designer early this year. The interviewers like me but I didn't get the job. Even though they wrote it as Web Designer, the actual tasks has nothing to do with designing anything but answering and dealing with customers' inquiries. The product they offers to the market are for males and so the job is more suitable for male candidates.
A few months later, they called me for a second interview as they need an IT assistant to do research for the boss. I got the job and have a love hate relationship with it. I ended up quitting by choice 3 months later. I figured I would end up insane dealing with a mean boss because I'm not emotionally tough enough to handle the stress. I just don't get it. I guess I'm just not talented enough or suitable to get into this online networking thing.
I didn't attend my polytechnic convocation ceremony. I... wasn't confident to meet my classmates in my current situation (not successful, not beautiful, nothing great).
I got an interview for a job in government public sector. The interviewers like me but I felt pressured after the interview and wish that they will not take me. My mom and friends told me that I was really lucky because the questions they asked me during the interviews showed that they are really interested in me and are ready to take me for the job. Strangely, I really hope I don't get it.
I got offer to USM and didn't take it either because I'm not interested in the course they're offering. I know better now that it's not good to tempt fate. I put that course in my second choice. Mom and others told me that they probably gave me that offer because it's the unpopular course so I automatically got it instead of my first choice. Oh, well..
I got into an online business. I... have some issues with it so I neglected it for 6 months and so I got nothing to show. I regret it but it's no use crying after spilled milk. So I started getting serious after that. It's almost 2 months now and my effort started showing result.
Suddenly, I got a reply from the government. I got the job! Erk, I don't want to take it but everyone said I should. I don't wan't to disappoint my mom. I don't have good active or passive income from my part-time online business yet and my mom is the business sponsor so.. I pretty much feel like I have not much voice in this. I guess I have to take it. I really wish I don't have to do that though. I want to stay at home.
I got heavy and itchy after Hari Raya Aidilfitri celebration so I get into Detox Diet or Raw Diet. The experiment took 40 days. On 12 November 2010, the experiment has ended successfully. It's a great learning experience as I get to learn fixing new dishes that are both easy and delicious. I'm sure if it's not for this experiment, I'll never get the opportunity or reason to try them. It's also a great experience of not having bloated stomach, not having to deal with regret after consuming a lot of food, not having cravings are good too, and it's great not having to deal with unnecessary food. Even though I'm now on normal diet, I think I will be back for more Raw Diet soon.

I wonder if Mama Murai has guessed successfully when my birthday is :D hehehe..... Oh yeah, coincidently, it's also Hari Raya Aidiladha today. So..

Happy Celebrating Hari Raya Aidiladha!

Eid al-Adha or "Festival of Sacrifice" or "Greater Eid" is an important religious holiday celebrated by Muslims worldwide to commemorate the willingness of Abraham (Ibrahim) to sacrifice his son Ishmael (Isma'il) as an act of obedience to God, before God intervened to provide him with a ram to sacrifice instead. The meat is divided into three parts to be distributed to others. The family retains one third of the share, another third is given to relatives, friends and neighbors, and the other third is given to the poor & needy.

Source: wikipedia

Please take care and be careful if you're driving.

If you're tired, take a rest.

Remember your loved ones.

I wish you a safe and lovely journey :)

Food Price List 8 November 2010

2010-11-10T06:43:00.001+08:00

Local Grocery Store
One coconut (grated) = RM1.50 - sweet, creamy, filling
RM0.20 bean sprout = 2 dish - very filling

AEON Jusco Seberang Prai City Shopping Centre
Half of a medium sized pumpkin = about RM1.50 or so
Portabella Mushroom in pack of 6 (if I'm not mistaken) = about RM11.00
500 gram Red chili = RM4.95
100 gram Almond = RM5.99 (O_O wow, this nut is expensive!)
100 gram Cashew Nuts = RM5.99
100 gram Sunflower Seeds = RM1.69
100 gram Dried Dates = RM0.99

Steve Pavlina was on Raw Diet too?

2010-11-09T06:22:00.000+08:00

Wow, that's a great news. He's a great thinker and conduct experiments like a true scientist. So what did he eat during the experiment?

Steve on Raw Food Diet Day 1
O_o Um, okay... That was lots and lots of fruits....

I didn't know we are supposed to eat a lot of fruits and no meat or fish at all on Raw Diet. I kinda... uh, just eat anything raw when I feel hungry. Not very systematic, isn't it? Then I saw this post.

Steve's Raw Diet Plan
*Sweatdrop* Steve actually made plan before he start his experiment with Raw Diet... Um, I feel so inadequate right now... But wow, it's a good plan. It's easy to follow. I'm starting to think he comes from another planet.

Then I found out he's a human too like me XD

Early Experiments and Why Steve Wants to Try Raw Diet
Hahahaha XD Sorry, but it was funny! I guess it was more noticeable to him because he is an active person. I am not active at all, so I didn't need as much food as everyone else (and yet I still lose weight) and so I didn't notice most of the problems he mention except the 'taking too much time to prepare the food' part.

And so, we finally arrived to his conclusion about his Raw Diet attempt. Will he stick to it this time?

Steve Conclusion of His 30 Days Raw Diet Adventure
That was.. very enlightening and informative and.. did I mention interesting? Especially the 'No Salt' and 'Dry Skin'. I wonder what cause the dry skin? I thought eating all those fruits and veggies supposed to make your skin healthier and smoother. Oh, and, protein? Um, I didn't plan for that at all. I'd have to check his daily food log to see where he got his protein.

Oh, correction. Steve is now officially a permanent Raw Food Eater since 2nd April 2008. Wow.. that was a loooong time ago and I just found it now..

The Last Day of My Detox Diet

2010-11-08T23:06:00.001+08:00

5 W 1 H
Who
When
Where
What is going on? It's 3
Why
How

It's weird

The Secret Raw Discoveries That Save My Soul

2010-11-08T06:42:00.000+08:00

You know.. I find it this Detox Diet is quite hard to follow because most of the recipes I found use ingredients that are supposedly basic to others but are rarely found in my pantry, use dehydrator, or look good but is not my taste at all. So there was a lot of disgusting moments of failed experiments but also shockingly good moment of discoveries :)

For example, I never would have thought Malaysian Kerabu to be a very good alternative to those boring salads. This was the first raw dish that makes me overate!

How I Made My First Kerabu:

Mash 3 Fresh Red Chillies to pulp with the mortal with pestle.
Add a handful of Dried Anchovies and mash them again to pulp.
Then add half of a Big Onion and small cube of Ginger and mash them, again, to pulp.
Add a handful of Fresh Grated Coconut, mash them slightly until they kinda mixed nicely together.
Sprinkle some White Pepper Powder and mash them a little bit just to mix them up.
Cut a medium sized Tomato and a medium sized Green Apple into small dices.
Mixed them all in a bowl.
Tear a Big Cabbage Leaf.
Fill the mixture on the Cabbage Leaf.
Wrap the Cabbage Leaf and eat it just like that.. Yum!

Notes:

There is no need to add Salt because the Dried Anchovies are already very salty.
I made a mistake of washing the Cabbage Leaves just before using it as wrap so it was a little bit soggy.
It was very delicious, I ate 3 Big Cabbage Wrap hehehe... my poor stomach cried all night after that though :D so I'm not going to repeat that again.

It's a common dish actually but it looks hard to prepare to me who had never cook anything more than simple dishes like Sandwiches, Fried Rice, Fried Noodle, and Fried Eggs before this adventure. So I pretty much ignore its existence. There are actually a very large varieties of Kerabu as it is very versatile. You can pretty much mix in just about anything to make a Kerabu just like Salad but it's more... enticing and delicious to those with Malaysian tongues.

Oh, talking about Malaysian tongue, mom said Malaysian don't drink Coconut Milk (Santan) but people from other countries do. In Malaysia, people drink Coconut Juice straight from Young Coconut, but use Coconut Milk (made from Grated Coconut and Water) as cooking ingredient. It's an interesting trivia. I wonder why Malaysian don't drink Coconut Milk. I think it would taste as delicious as Grated Coconut.

I know I've used it in my first Kerabu but I didn't think much about Grated Coconut except it makes Sambal, Kerabu or Salad taste really good. Then, a few days ago I used it in my Salad. As expected it tastes good but the Grated Coconut was quite old, I bought it one or two weeks ago so I thought 'why not finished it before it gone bad' and eat it just like that. And OH MY GOD, IT TASTES WAY BETTER THAN NUTS BUT JUST AS FILLING!!!! I LOVE IT!!

Ah, I wonder how could I miss it before? Fresh Grated Coconut are very cheap in Malaysia. I think I would buy a lot of these instead of those expensive Nuts next time. Em, yeah *day dreaming of snacking on Coconut Milk and Grated Coconut'.....

Coconut Milk

Source: Wikipedia

I wonder what nice discoveries I would stumble upon next :)

An Unexpected Opportunity

2010-11-05T06:54:00.139+08:00

I want to write better articles. MamaMurai suggested using 5W and 1H formula. So here goes nothing. I hope it is better and more coherent than my usual rambling.

5W 1H:

What just happened? Oh, I got a job offer.
When did you get it? 4 November (yesterday).
Where did you get it? My house.
How did you get it? They send it by mail post.
Who got excited the most? My friend and family.
Why are you not excited? Maybe I already get used to my current lifestyle. But honestly I want to try but I'm not sure if I'm qualified.

For some strange reason, yesterday's morning felt so ominous I was almost expecting a bad news. However, what actually happen is I got a job offer to work in the public sector as an Assistant to the Information Technology Officer(s). It was unexpected because I totally forgot all about it after they told me they have put my name in the Reserved List instead of hiring me a few months ago.

Everyone was so happy though when I got that letter. They were very excited as they tore off and read all the letters before I can even touch it :D I wonder who exactly get that letter, me or them?

They said I wasn't normal for not being excited at all. My family reminded me to thank Allah for getting the offer when they saw my blank face. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for giving me this opportunity. I know I doesn't look very grateful but I didn't know what to feel about this offer.

My first thoughts were:

"Wow, I got through even though I didn't want to..."
"Thanks Allah for giving me this opportunity regardless of what I'm feeling right now."
"Ah, it came at bad timing as I want to concentrate on my business right now."

In fact, I was very much contemplating of refusing the offer.

My friends have told me that it's a very competitive position. My family said it's very difficult to get hired for that kind of position in public sector, I am very lucky to get chosen so I should be thankful. They all urge me to take it even if I don't like it because it can ensure a good future; easy to get loan, good income source, a lot of holiday, very unlikely to be fired at all even if I suck at it and lots of other benefits.

Hearing that makes it very easy for me to want to take it because I won't be a burden to my mom anymore and there are a lot of things she can do with the benefits too. But then I wonder if I am the right person for this job. I haven't touch programming for a long time or follow current development with the IT world like I used to. During the interview, I told them that I like programming and my strength is that my friends always ask me for latest news in IT. I wonder if they keep that in notes.

Deskripsi Tugas:

Bertanggungjawab membangun program baru untuk sesuatu sistem gunaan komputer, memperkembangkan sistem komputer yang sedia ada bagi memenuhi keperluan semasa, penyelenggaraan sistem dan memberikan latihan serta bantuan teknikal kepada pihak pengguna.

- www.spa.gov.my

Translation...

Job Description:

Responsible for developing new programs to use on a computer system, expanding the existing computer systems to meet current needs, system maintenance and provide training and technical assistance to consumer.

I love the programming part but I suck at it. I know I'm the official layout maker in my Neopets Guild (it's like a group on Facebook but more fancy, very active, no hypes and spams, and very relaxing) and I made a nice Indonesian FAQ (Frequently Asked Question) website for my VeMMA team recently but that's it.

I haven't touch any kind of programming except HTML and CSS for those tasks I mentioned above. And even those are only at basic level. I'm not very creative. How about graphic designing with Adobe Photoshop? Nope, I use the mediocre MS Paint for my layout. I haven't touch that software for ages.

I didn't use it because I feel guilty using a cracked paid software without actually paying for it as that is the same as stealing, no? I ignore that feeling when I was using it as a student. But as soon I completed my course, I stopped using it altogether except for occasional tutoring my sister and my friends. I should have replaced it with Paint.NET, a free but just as powerful and practice with it but... I guess I just prefer MS Paint.

So it's good to know that there is a special group exists just to train us online because the thoughts of failing to do my job really scare me. But the prospect of programming an application again and learning new things makes me feel quite giddy. I really want to reach out to try and practice and be the best programmer or web designer they ever had. Okay, I feel pumped up now :) That's good.

My only hope is by taking this job, I will not only secure my and my family's future but also help me to grow as a person and be able to help others a lot. Meaning, I want to be important. I want to be someone people look up to. And nothing prove it best than helping others to achieve the same result I get and exceeding others expectation. That sounds kinda selfish but strangely not a bad thought at all. It's honest.

Right now, I'm focusing on my personal growth. I have fear or insecurity of being an inconvenience and undeserving of others that I need to get rid of. Though my friends think I have skill and a quick learner, experiences has showed me that I learnt better from a teacher or mentor that can show and guide me step by step.

I've read quite a lot of articles on being a great employee and they keep mentioning about being self-sufficient, self-starter, keeping your skill sharp and being able to exceed expectation. That's quite a lot of requirement to be a good employee and person actually.

I've been told a lot of time that even though I'm spoiled and very dependent on my mom and others right now, I can be independent if I want to. I have been thinking the same thing but sometimes I wonder if I am just deluding myself.

To prove how spoiled and clingy I am, my family is going to leave with me to Putrajaya, where the job is. It is far from my current home which is in Pulau Pinang. I told you about how excited they were about the offer, right? Well, there is actually another reason for their excitement which is they were bored outta their mind and so they would except any kind of adventure that can help them get out of that rut. I don't mind. In fact I welcome it as I was scared to go alone (they didn't know that though).

Self-starter? *Checking the online dictionary* Hm, I don't have any unusual drive or particularly passionate about something. But I am quite an obsessive planner and writer. Whenever I am bored, I can't help but start thinking or planning and then jot the idea down in my small notebook (which I bring EVERYWHERE) or cellphone. It's more like a disease so I don't think that count as having an unusual drive. Then, how about ambitious? Maybe, I do have big dreams after all and haven't giving up yet.

I have a big expectation from myself so I am always disappointed when I couldn't do something as well as other people. But I have no idea why other people also have high expectation of me, it's not like I've shown them anything promising except good grades. So anyway, I'm sad to say that I've probably disappointed a lot of people including my past employers.

My last employer didn't say it but I feel like I have been an inconvenient to him somehow. Most of the time I feel like I don't deserve my paycheck. I know I tried my best but I just wasn't getting it. I don't even know if I am actually doing what I am supposed to do or not. So when the chance came up, I raised my hand and used it as excuse to quit my job. I just gave up.

It doesn't feel humiliating like it should but I taste freedom instead.

Because, if there is one thing that can make me depressed like no others is when I feel totally inadequate. When I feel inadequate, I get helpless and start torturing myself by feeling nervous, self-conscious and thinking too much. Then my self-esteem starts crashing down, I start looking down on myself, feel totally undeserving of what I get, and end up totally depressed. It's stupid.

So I started trying to improve myself and try to be positive instead of putting myself down into depression. So far, I am not feeling the pressure yet which is probably because I'm doing my own business at home without other's influence and negative vibes. I really hope it won't happen again when I take this job.

All I have to do is try, right?

2010-11-05T03:10:00.001+08:00

Though I have to wonder... Why did they hire in the first place?

As far as my limited experiences can show, I've never win a lucky draw or similar. And yet when it comes to test score, study and career opportunity, it is almost expected that I would get it, it scares me. Am I lucky? Is it my personality that makes them expect a lot from me so they hire me? Or they just like my personality so they hire me? Or is it really my ability they were looking at but my self-consciousness prevent me from performing the best I could?

Another thing to ponder, I didn't expect to be somewhat interested in business at all but before I knew it, I already own an online business just like what I dreamed when I was a kid. O_O Woa, is this the Law of Attraction?

Eat.Pray.Love Quote
"...I've come to believe that there exists in the universe something I call "The Physics of The Quest" - a force of nature governed by laws as real as the laws gravity or momentum. And the rule of Quest Physics maybe goes like this: "If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared - most of all - to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself....then truth will not be withheld from you." Or so I've come to believe."
Source: Yahoo! Answer

Eating Raw Potatoes and Raw Mayonnaise

2010-11-04T06:47:00.001+08:00

I tried raw potatoes last week. I peeled it, cut it like I cut my apples and sprinkle some salt and pepper to taste. The dish was quite good actually but it has an odd starchy taste. I like how my stomach felt after eating it :)

Source: Wikipedia

I wonder how it would taste if mashed and mixed with mayonnaise.
I found out how to make a raw mayonnaise a few weeks ago. It looks easy but a very tiring process.

More day dream:
I wonder what mashed potatoes + garlic + lemon + white pepper powder would taste like?
Do I have to soak the potatoes first?

Raw Portobello Mushroom as Meat Alternative

2010-11-03T06:43:00.004+08:00

I was looking for mushrooms that are safe to be eaten raw and found this recipe:

It looks really good! I gotta try it but where do they sell this kind of mushroom in Penang? Tesco? Jusco? Wet market?

Planning for Raw Meal Diet

2010-11-03T05:06:00.001+08:00

I have to admit, planning my meal is the hardest thing to do. In fact, I didn't do any planning at all. It's bad, because there are always leftover since I don't eat much at all especially when I have to prepare it myself. I only eat when I'm really hungry.

Part of the reason is cooking takes too much time. Even my favorite Sambal and Kerabu (my first Kerabu) take way longer time to prepare if I do it with Mortar and Pestle. On the other hand, I could use the blender but it wouldn't taste as good.

So usually I just munch on anything I could take and eat on the spot without any preparation like Fresh Fruits, Nuts, Dried Fruits and Grated Coconut. If I need a bigger portion then I go for Salad. Soup just doesn't cut it for me. Even though it can taste quite good, it just not very filling at all.

So the grocery bill gets way higher than normal. Mom said it because the Nuts are pricey here in Malaysia. It's true. Look at this list:

Jusco - Apricot Kernel (150 g) RM 6.50
Jusco - Sunflower Seed (160 g) RM 5.50

And these are the cheapest ones. The others are around RM10 - RM 20.

There are Peanut, Dal Bean,

Fruits are hard to keep especially the soft ones like Pear, Banana, and Papaya. Citrus can be stored longer but I prefer to use them for flavor in Kerabu, Soup and Salad instead of munching on them. I wonder what kind of fruits than can be stored for 1-2 weeks without going bad?

Raw Snacks

2010-11-02T23:10:00.001+08:00

These days I often myself munching on fruits, dried fruits and nuts. I guess ever since I try this 40 days detox diet, my undisciplined, obsessive lifestyle doesn't change much. I'm constantly in front of the computer doing something either working on my business, checking raw recipes, playing games or reading whatever.

It's a bad habit but at least I am not being mean to my body anymore.

I am not very imaginative with food so I'm stuck with:

Nuts
Dried fruits
Fresh fruits
Nuts and dried fruits mix

It's not bad. In fact, nuts are very good at satisfying hunger. They taste quite bland but delicious when mixed with the sweet dried fruits. Fresh fruits are obviously yummy especially the sweet ones.

But I wonder if there are more raw food snack than these

You feel like a failure? Guess what - Me too!

2010-10-29T06:58:00.001+08:00

I love this thread:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/character-contribution/15640-i-feel-like-failure.html

It's a wonder that her life story is so similar to mine and a lot of people; top students, depressed, drop out, feel like a failure, don't know what to do and where we are going.

I love how this article answer this question:
http://www.nvo.com/isleepless/feellikeafailure/

"PERSEVERE - Nothing in the world will take the place of perseverance. Talent will not - Nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not - Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not - The world is full of educated derelicts. PERSISTENCE AND DETERMINATION ALONE ARE OMNIPOTENT. Written by Calvin Coolidge."

And looking at our past experience, used to be top students, it's obviously true.

This article also reminds us to be gentle to ourselves because:

"If you knew someone in the same situation you're in, would you judge them to be a failure? We bet not!"

And strangely, it's true O_O I have recently made contact with my friend and we're in similar situation but I don't feel like she's a failure at all, she's still my friend and I hate it when she looked down on herself. But I also worried that if we are too gentle with ourselves, we would.. not be able to see the truth?

And yet, I think I can remember a friend who is indeed gentle and forgiving to herself, hey, make it two, eh.... Why do I feel like there are a lot? Maybe these are the people we know are content even though they are average and are non-judmental? Maybe that's why these people give us these calming feeling? It kinda wash away our worries..

I have to try this... First I have to accept myself.

Thread reply by Parthon (this link to his reply):
"The steps I took were to accept my current life style: A dropout loser on welfare, then I projected what that would be like in 20 years, a 45 year old drop out loser on welfare and accepted that too. When I fully understood and realised my situation as it currently was, it opened up an opportunity. The opportunity was to, right now in the moment, direct my life towards where I wanted it to be. I saw that strangly enough it's not the big life changing events that turn my life into what it is, it's the small unnoticible ones between the gaps, and it's the ones in the gaps at each moment that I could improve."

So, what is my current lifestyle?

A diploma level course graduate from polytechnic in Information Technology (IT) majoring in programming. Even though I was a top student, that was because of my ability to remember the facts at the last minutes (pull all-nighter study all the time), not exactly because of my 'extraordinary' skills.

I guess I'm pretty good in programming but I am bad at graphic and multimedia manipulation although my drawing skill is a little bit better than most. I guess I can say that my MS Paint skill is really good compared to most people I know. It's not hard when you spend most of your childhood drawing in MS Paint.

I guess what makes me a loser to me is because I am not married yet, or have a job (I am doing an online business but I have nothing to show yet so it's not comparable to a job right now and that is nothing to be proud of), or in university (I got the acceptance letter but I didn't go because I'm not sure if that's what I want to learn). All my previous classmates have fill in one or more of these conditions as to not qualify as a loser. So I feel like I am the only loser among my friends.

Other than that, I am currently living with my mother and she is still supporting me and my younger sister (actually she is more independent than me and able to bring in cash for her own use) with her pensioner wage. So I don't exactly need money right now and my mom don't mind as long I do what I do seriously but it feels bad having to rely on others especially your mother.

I am not as skilled in cooking like most of my female AND male friends. I am average in programming and computer skills. I am not good at housekeeping, to keep it tidy, organized and clean. My general knowledge and current issue awareness are horrible (they doen't interest me) so I don't have much thing to talk with people. I will be 22 years old this November and I don't have any serious achievement not even as a blogger (mainly because I don't socialize).

I accept that this is my current lifestyle right now.

In 20 years for now, IF my online business is unsuccessful, I might be force to either further my education or find a job. For a job, I would probably go for job below my qualification level as my programming skill and multimedia skill are not good. So maybe, shopkeeper, assistant, clerk, manual worker at the stores, cashier, jobs like that. I would be constantly tired because of stress (not because of the work) if I got bad boss. Or if I got good boss, I would be ashamed if I am not useful enough and can't meet his/her expectation.

I would not be able to help my mom much, financially. She doesn't expect much from me so that's okay. I would still probably be a single woman as I just can't imagine sharing a life with a man. I think leading a stressful life like this actually helps me to be more aware of what I have and make me appreciate it more. I would still enjoy the flow of life. And then I would grow old and enjoy my hobbies while spending the money I have collected during my youth and finally die, leaving no print and legacy on this world. Hmm.. is that a bad way to live?

No, it's not. It's an okay life, an annoying one because I would have to meet people all the time, nothing to be ashamed of, but nothing to be proud of either. I accept that.

On the other hand, IF my online business is successful, then... I can imagine not having to worry about money.. but somehow I can't imagine what my life would be like. I don't know what does being successful entails in this business. Would I be busy helping people offline? Would I be busy them online? Would I spend only 2 hours a day to maintain this business? Would I spend almost half of my day for it? I don't know what to expect yet.

If I'm not busy with my business, I could be busy spending my time browsing and investing properties (or is it called assets?). Or, I could be relaxing doing nothing. Or, pampering myself in spa and beautician center. Or, I could be spending my time learning how to cook and keep my house tidy, organized, fun and clean.

It's a better life since I won't be a burden to others AND I would have at least one thing to be proud of, my business. I accept that too.

So where do I want to go? :) Wow, I thought my future was bleak. This is a good exercise and revelation...

Who Are The Weak Minded People?

2010-10-28T06:57:00.000+08:00

I think this girl nailed it of who are the weak minded fools:

Laziness would be one thing that would lead to weak mindedness. I would think that a lazy person with no goal or vision would simply be like a huge big sponge absorbing whatever water it can find to stay full and with the least amount of effort. Look at Hobos - they are simply takers and care nothing about looking for something to stimulate them.

The second thing on my list would be a negative attitude and yielding to it - almost quitting. " I am no good therefore I will never be anything so I may as well give up" "Oh woe is me - its all about poor old me me me!!!!" If people realized that they had a role to play in life and are a puzzle piece that makes up the entire world and necessary, they would change their attitudes. Negative draws more negative to it and leads to extreme lethargy numbness of feelings and eventually self extermination. How sad is that!!! Its what people choose that either makes them or breaks them.

Choose positive and positive will come to you and bring more positive things in your direction and whats more is you will be liked because people enjoy being around positive people!!!! Negative people become a drain on others and then are avoided because of their crippled emotions and that is where the problem lies. Emotions are stunted and growth of maturity remains where the hurt took place and never moves forward until the hurt is forgiven. Its all about choice and not feeling.

If you feel to forgive you will never do it but choose to with determination and action and suddenly what appeared to be a huge mountain disappears into nothing and before you is a road that says run on me and off you go. When you look back you laugh when you realize that such a small issue could really blind you and contaminate your thoughts feelings and emotions to the point of stunting you!! How sad is that. Worse still is that this world of ours is sick because of the very fact that people don't FEEL like forgiving others - they like being angry and allowing the negative feelings and emotions and thoughts bind them and hold them captive. How silly is that (That to me is weak-mindedness - the inability to take action over negative thoughts feelings and emotions and rather give in to them!!)

Source: Yahoo Answer

Wow, she has very good points!

Though I am pretty sure I'm neither weak or strong minded at the moment. I am lazy but I have my goal in life so I strive to be a better person. I have my own belief that I choose to follow instead of doing what everyone else is doing. I am quite negative and skeptical but I opt to be more positive when I catch myself doing it. Still, I feel like I'm more draining than exciting to others. So like I said, I'm neither strong or weak right now.

This post is too true too, Why Weak Minded People Suffer from Addiction.

Not that I'm trying to condemn anyone but there must be something wrong with anyone who is addicted to anything. They can't control their feeling and movement even if they're aware of the damages. It can be food (hello, obesity), it can be drug (hello, bipolar people), it can be smoke (hello, lung cancer), it can be sex (hello, gonorrhea), it can be playing computer games (bye bye reality world), it can be slashing your arms (woo, nice scar), it can be pulling your hair (hello, baldness), it can be just about anything.

They are procrastinating from doing something. They're procrastinating because they don't want to do something. And so what IS that thing? And what you should do about it?

For me? It's the real world. Why do we have to work? Why do we have to mingle with people we don't care? Why do we have to sweet talk in order to get customer? Why wasn't I born into super rich family? Lol... So I'm trying out my best to do online business. If this works, I can go back to my leisurely lifestyle. I want to learn cooking and serve my mom... Call me odd but yeah, if money and time doesn't matter... If popularity doesn't matter...

I would go to sleep, spend time to learn how to dance, how to cook, how to play roller blades, how to keep an extraordinarily clean and tidy house almost effortlessly, how to massage others' tired body, how to help others without getting their attention, and so on. I would help people in need but ignore everybody else. Ignore from having conversations with others.

I love orders but I hate being yelled at.... I'd love to do my best as long someone will guide me through it...

What the heck am I saying? It sounds like I want to become a servant and a sheep! Though I still get to choose who I want to serve and who will herd me... Arghh, this is so weird.

Rich People Minus Negative Thoughts

2010-10-28T06:44:00.001+08:00

Why am I not flashy? by Ryan

I got the link from one of Potpie Girl's latest email. I admire them both for being able to 'get it' and being able to eloquently express their thoughts and feelings. I love their writing, it sounds so normal yet full of value. It's like talking to a real people. I know they are real but their writing makes me able to realize that they are indeed real people.

The point of having money for us normal people is not to be able to gloat to other people. The first priority is to have a peaceful life. Because it's hard not to worry and being scared all the time even before going to sleep when you wonder all the time if you're going to have enough money to cover your life tomorrow.

I saw someone rich (don't remember who) posted on Facebook that you have to be happy before you can be rich (or is it financially free?) not the other way around. I wonder if that's true. But someone did say negativity brings more misfortune, so positivity should attract more good things in life.

And then secondly, it seems most of these rich people read lots and lots of books before they are successful (or was it all? Nah...). I think the books are either related to their interests like financial advices (I am pretty sure this is Irfan Khairi) or personal development (ah, who that's girl again? Oh yeah, Katie Freiling).

Another thing is most of the successful people either came from selling or networking background (like dad owns grocery store, or parents are hawkers) or from poor family.

What else do the rich people do before they become rich?

Oh yeah, really rich people are frugal, know where their money is going and they don't spend needlessly! I know I read that somewhere in one of Yahoo! articles regarding rich people habits. They don't have debt, most of them even admit that they will collect free money even if it isn't much if they could.

I used to be... kinda, jealous and hate them because I thought they don't understand me. I don't care about flashy things, BMW cars, big houses, long vacations in 5-stars hotel and so on. I just want to live peacefully without having to worry not having enough money to live on tomorrow or this month.

I thought about how I can't do what they do. I hate reading book (article is fine), I dislike talking with people, I hate socializing or partying, so how could I do what they do when I really really don't want to? I just want a friend, who would remain by my side and share thoughts with me.

I don't mind working in solitude at home. I don't mind to mindlessly cooking, cleaning, whatever all day. I don't mind to be a housekeeper as long I don't have to talk to people or handle the kids.

I thought about how I don't spend much money at all. I could just survive to continue living solely on meager monthly paycheck. However, I also realize that if I choose to do it that way, I won't be able to support myself if I got into accident and have to rest for even one month to recover.

So I continue envying those rich people who don't have to worry about not having enough money. I continue wondering what it would be like to be born in a rich family.

And then in the same article mentioned at the top of this post, Patsy (this link to her comment) spoke up. She talked about a book she had been reading:

I was always jealous of rich people until I read a book that said this was giving off negative energy and that I should be admiring them and asking them how they got there. Self made millionaires have had to work hard.

I will always take what people say with a pinch of salt, and even throw it over my shoulder. You have worked hard, I BELIEVE in you and loved how real you have always been.

And it made me realize that they indeed do work hard to get to where they are right now. For example, my ex-boss (I hate him by the way) is very mean, got nasty mouth, look down on people, expect his worker to respect him just because he is their boss, don't trust anyone, a lier (yes, he is!), always late with payment but expect people to pay him fast (I hate him!) and so on. But he is also very good at keeping track of his finance, very neat, love his family very much (Ugh, and he always remind us that he has to take care of his family while looking down at us. What? We don't have to take care of our family?), read a lot, never procrastinate, very shrewd (to the point of lying), very detailed, and spend lots of his time working or with his family.

And another example is, most of the successful people that I personally have met or know, are very busy people (another reason why I think I can't be like them, I am very.. relaxed to the point of being a slowpoke or uncaring or so my mom said). It seems like they are doing million things everyday but still loving it.

Oh, which bring me to another habit of rich people.. They don't care what others might think, they just do it! I keep hearing this phrase ever since I joined VeMMA. Still, I'm making no money yet. I know mom has joined VeMMA for 6 months (now 7) but we stopped doing it because like I said, rich people' habits (or at least the one in VeMMA) clash horribly with our personalities and habits. We don't see eyes to eyes even though I understand their reasonings.

But, I decided to get serious early this month and just do what they say because they are able to make a lot of money and I don't. I've started my Facebook Ads campaign. I still haven't seen any result, sure I got a lot of subscribers but still no one upgrade to become VeMMA paid member under my VemmaBuilder network.

Ugh... they say, be patience, keep learning and improving yourself, be consistent, and I or any VeMMA paid members will reap the results in one to six months. Looking at how different our attitudes and personalities are, this is going to be a long 6 months but hopefully with very good results in the end. I sure hope it worths it and it won't take away my moral codes and values!

PMS Stomach Cramps? Go exercise IMMEDIATELY!

2010-10-27T06:58:00.000+08:00

Wooo hooo!!! I always thought my idea of removing stomach cramps during period is silly or just plain weird. And then I talked to my little sister recently and found out that it works for her too!

I think I've mentioned this in my previous post about my and my family members' bad experience with periods. Anyway, when it comes to my little sister's monthly period it seems to go bad to worse. At first, she only got nasty cramps. Then it got nastier until at one point she vomits during her periods. It's really painful to look at. She looks so.. pitiful.

Me and my mom feel bad for her but can't help but think that it's her fault for not eating supplements mom bought for her to help with her PMS problems. I mean, she knows it's gonna be nasty and yet she didn't take proper precautions to avoid that. So when she moans, it's kinda yeah, we know, we pity you but you deserve it..... So moan all you want, it's not gonna help.

So imagine my surprise when she told me a few days ago that her period is not bad at all compared to her previous experience. I asked what did she do. She said, "I exercise a bit. Go down and up the upstairs until I sweat".

I was kinda baffled because I don't remember sharing with her or anyone that tips. Like I said, it sounds silly and weird so I never share it with anyone (uh, until recently that is but that's another story). I share it in my blog because... it's my blog and I want to share my opinion with anyone who cares to read it.

So anyway, I asked her again, where did she got that idea from. And she said, "Actually it has been a long time I realized this. When I was in high school, when I was active with uh, Judo, Karate? What was it that I join during high school with you?", "Taekwando", I answered her. "Oh yeah, Taekwando. I've never suffered during my periods".

Yeah, that was news to me too. I thought she always had it. :P Hihi.... Anyway, continue..

"The cramps started after I finish high school..". Erm, I forgot what she said but it has something to do with she got the idea that being less active after high school started the cramps. So she thought exercise might help her with the cramps and it did. Awesome, isn't it?

No need for drugs, pills, supplements... just exercise and it's gone!

I wonder if it will work with others too. I shared this info with my cousin a day earlier before this conversation. I don't know if she takes it seriously or not. I hope she do because I want to ask her the result :)

The Cold Scientific Truth behind Raw Diet?

2010-10-26T07:00:00.004+08:00

Look, I don't know how to conduct scientific research. Well, I do know how to manage minor scientific experiments but that was only under supervision of my teachers and was done when I was in primary school and high school so I don't think that counts.

Scientific research is something completely different and a foreign idea to me so I really have no worthy opinion to throw in whenever someone conducts a research and shows it to the world. I can only take it on face value, meaning I'll just assume it's true but I'll use my own mind whether to take it or leave it. I cannot argue with anyone using any scientific evidence.

With that said, I don't understand how people who conduct the same scientific experiment/research/whatever get different opinion about Raw Diet? Okay, I actually get that.. But a completely different result?

An excerpt from THE COLD TRUTH ABOUT RAW DIETS by JOEL FUHRMAN, M.D.:

If you compare raw broccoli to steamed or frozen broccoli, about 25 percent of the vitamin C and about 20 percent of the selenium is lost during cooking, but the other 20 commonly-measured nutrients show only an insignificant change. Raw-food advocates are not accurate when they claim that 50 percent of nutrients are lost with steaming. A closer estimate would be 10 percent.

Hello, how could you calculate the same thing and get 2 completely different answers? Did you guys just make up the numbers or what? If that's not the case, then one or both of you must be performing really bad in your Mathematics class :(

It sucks not having a scientific mind, you just can't follow the rest of the arguments. It's when things like this happened, I have to remain neutral. I may not be able to be a leader but hell if I want to be a follower of any kind of cult either.

By the way this is one moronic question from one of the commenters:
The one question I still have about a raw food diet, which I used to believe in, is: why are we the only animals that cook our food? Other animals get all the nutrients they need from raw food. I await to be enlightened.

A Darwin believer no doubt that we evolve from monkeys... Then if that's the case, then why oh why are they still monkeys and we're human? Yay, another egg versus chicken argument, fun! Not.

But there is one thing that even non scientific people can appreciate and ponder, LIVE RESULT :) I love how some of the commenters throw in their own experiences with Raw Diet.

Solace - March 13, 2007 10:23 PM
I can only speak for myself. I followed diets set out by people like Dr. Weil for years. I tried following a mainly cooked Vegan diet for months at a time. Through all of this I still carried crippling neck pain and serious depression/pms that almost killed me. I have been on a 100% RAW food diet for 8 weeks now. I am now for the first time in 15 years off my anti-depressants and for the first time in 15 years and doing awesome. I have not had to take painkillers for 3 days now - THAT has never happened before!!! I believe what I have learned through RAW foodist and those who have been healed by them. I hope those of you who need more info will seek it. Thanks

Grandmama - September 18, 2007 11:40 PM
My experience with raw foods: I was in fairly good health but still suffered for several years from chronic daily hemorrhoids, rectal fissure, insomnia, cracked heels, general chilliness, poor concentration, was 30+ pounds overweight, and my hair was turning grey rapidly. I was eating a mostly organic whole food vegetarian diet for over thirty years (on which I overcame Lymes disease and migraine headaches), and applied ayurvedic and chinese medicine wisdom to my diet and lifestyle. I ate no junk food at all. It wasn't until I adopted a 99% (and later 100%) raw, organic diet that every one of the above-mentioned symptoms completely disappeared never to return (excepting a few grey hairs). It has been about 14 months now since I made the commitment (no cheating, no kidding!), and I feel better and more youthful than ever before in my nearly 49 years. I rarely ever eat anything cold from the fridge or freezer. My skin and hair are beautiful, my energy is great, my sleep is wonderful, I lost 33 pounds of excess fat, I no longer have hemorrhoids or fissures or even dry cracked heels, I am no longer chilly even in winter, and my concentration and focus is excellent. I am far more productive than ever. My two questions for the doctor or anyone else who knows: If a raw diet can cause nutritional deficiencies, how long will it take before the overall excellent benefits of my diet change disappear, and the deficiency symptoms begin to appear? If cooked food is essential to good health, please explain how the human and animal kingdoms managed to survive for countless generations? I believe that people have the right to choose what they wish to eat, and that negative judgement is not conducive to health for anyone. I sincerely wish for each and all of you the wonderful increase in health and happiness that I have achieved eating only raw foods. As my granddaughter said to me..."Grandma, you don't look like a grandma to me, all yucky and old and wrinkled, you look nice and young!"
Blessings of health and happiness to all!

Joanne - November 28, 2007 2:54 AM
I have Systemic Lupus and was given plaquenil to help me. It did, but for many years it was not 100% better until I went on a raw food diet for one year. My lupus symptoms eventually dissapeared entirely, and my blood tests showed as if I didn't have lupus at all. My doc wanted me to start phasing off my meds but I was too chicken to go off them completely. It is not easy being raw especially when I cook for my 2 kids and husband. But people, it works, just be reasonable with it and trust your body. I ate raw sushi for protein, which I felt I needed. Go organic when you do it; it makes all the difference.

Danny Anderson - March 20, 2008 2:11 PM
I have changed my diet to about 80% to 90% raw foods. I have been on it for only about a month, if that. I had bad psoriasis before this. after changing my diet it went away almost completely. Sometimes i eat a hot vegetable soup or some steemed veggies. I think you just have to go with what your body tells you. I have noticed that if I eat wheat products like bread it starts to come back. same thing with meat

Raj - January 16, 2009 8:32 AM
I am from India and i have cervical spondylosis. I had gout a few years back but was able to control it with some food changes but now i have cervical spondylosis.
The so called great modern medicine dosent have an answer. All they know is antiinflammtory tablets, pain killers and vitamin tablets. I have read about a yogi's diet i.e the diet of an indian saint. I have turned to raw food, can say 75% raw and i have cooked food only for dinner.
Now i can see the change. The pain has miraculosly stopped though not fully. I have realised that it is the inflammation i have to cure. for that i have to strenghten my immune system and make it recognize that it is not supposed to be attacking my neck. It may sount funny but it is true.
Now there are many here who claim that there is not much reserch done on benefits of raw food. But i believe in live examples and not the reserch studies done by those so called big drug companies. I have seen someone live for more than 100 years , healthy and perfect by eating raw food. All the person used to eat was green sprouts and fruits. His stomach almost touched his back but his body was in perfect shape and there was no fatigue. He lived for more than 100 years. He was the guru of my uncle and my uncle managed to survive about 70 years as he consumed cooked food.
Sorry for the long story , nut just wanted to share my experiences because there are many people in the world who are spending hell a lot of money on medicines which are of no use. Fasting and raw food diet can bring back life and cure diseases which are not cured by medicines.

Boris - January 17, 2009 2:55 PM
Lets face it: we know almost nothing about raw food diets yet, aside from the burgeoning body of personal experiences which are so accessable to all thanks to the internet. There is has been tragically little research, and many of assumptions that are made by both enthusiasts and critics have not actually been tested.
The evidence is overwhelming for a diet based almost exclusively on plant foods. Many people derive benefit from improving thier diet in this direction. Not all of them, as the doctor contributing above assumes, were eating utter rubbish beforehand. I should know, I'm a doctor and I was eating a virtually vegan wholefood diet (mainly due to reading Campbells "China Study") before I noticed that my Raw Food wife had significantly more energy and clarity in the evenings than I did. I followed in her footsteps and the result was effortless weight loss, and increased energy. From my point of view the most interesting change was radically increased recovery time from injury (at least 60% quicker), and almost no stiffness after exeptional exertion or new activities. My surgeries are full of people who just aren't healing injuries and inflammations of various kinds. Lack of a proper research base makes it impossible to share my experiences with the overwhelming majority of my patients. But as a 40+ year old doing TaeKwonDo twice weekly with my kids I'm finding life a good deal easier.
I think the dramatic experiences that many rawfoodists report deserve some proper research, as do the experiences of those who don't get along with it. This will take a good deal of time to undertake, publish, and understand. Gabriel Cousens is hoping to get funding for his work with diabetes, lets hope he gest some. But this will just be a small peice in the jigsaw. Research agendas are pretty hard to send in new directions so we may be waiting a long time. In the meantime, by all means lets share our experiences, hypotheses and what information there is, but lets not pretend we know more than we do.

Yep, it was the quality of life that matters not how long. Of course if you can live long and healthy, that would be even better :)

So anyway, I was reading these comments when my mom walked in. I explained to her a bit about my discovery. She was surprised to hear that Raw Food Diet is not limited to vegetable, fruits and nuts only. Reading back at some of the comments, it seems most people also assume the same thing too. Well, can't blame them. Raw Food Diet is similar to Vegetarian or Vegan Diet but there are some big differences between these diets.

While Vegan/Vegetarian only eat plants, plants' product like fruit, and nuts, and might occasionally eat dairy products and eggs, Raw Food Eaters can eat all that plus meats, fishes, fermented products like miso and whatever else I might have forgot to mention here. And secondly, Vegan/Vegetarian can eat the meal raw or cooked but Raw Food Dieters can only eat it raw (that's how it got its name by the way).

I still can't differentiate between Detox Diet and Raw Food Diet though :/

The Most Disgusting Raw Soup Ever!

2010-10-25T06:57:00.002+08:00

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Okay, it's not bad because my mom thinks the soup I've made based on her raw soup guide last night is delicious! BUT I CAN'T EVEN FINISH ONE SPOON OF THIS SOUP! I almost puke and stay sick all night and this morning when I woke up.. I feel so hungry for not eating last night :( I thought I'm gonna die starving... My stomach still hasn't settle down though.

So her basic raw soup has 6 components:

Any watery vegetable like Cucumber, Tomato, Celery AND/OR greens
Water to thin up the soup
Some kind of citrus juice like Lemon, Lime or Orange Juice to perk up the flavor
Salty seasoning like Sea Salt or Miso
Any pungent seasonings like Spices, Fresh Herbs, Garlic, Onion, Curry Powder
Some kind of fat to make it creamy like Avocado or Olive Oil or Soaked Nuts and Seeds

I made a green soup last night that based on this guide:
I used Cucumber and Celery (watery vegetables), Kailan Heart (Hey, that's what it said on the label. So anyway this is the green), Lemon, Salt, Black Pepper and Olive Oil.

In her video, she processes ingredients 1 to 5 first before adding the last ingredient to mix. That's what I did. I have a taste of the soup before I added the last ingredient and it was.. okay, maybe a little bit too sour. Then I just had to add the Olive Oil! Ugh.... She used Avocado in her soup which I don't have but she said Olive Oil is okay too so I substitute it with that. IT TASTE GROSS!!!! I CAN'T GO PASS THE SMELL OF THAT OLIVE OIL NOR ITS TASTE!!

Strangely, my mom who doesn't like most of my concoctions love this soup O_o Sometimes I wonder how our taste can be so different....

It bothers me though, I think next time I'll try again without the Olive Oil, either remove the fat part altogether or replace it with Soaked Nuts and Beans.... Hmm...

Or.. I could remove the Citrus and Oil and have it just like that :) I prefer it garlicky, salty and spicy anyway.

Food I Want to Try Raw

2010-10-22T07:30:00.001+08:00

Avocado is one of the most popular ingredients in raw eaters world to make creamy soup, and various other fulfilling dishes. It is said to be butter-like in texture, actually has fat (that's why it's fulfilling), and the taste is not overpowering at all so it can be very versatile (can be used with almost any ingredients).

Mushroom is very popular as meat replacement and it is said that even pure carnivore loves it! I don't miss meat per se but I would like to try it. It's fun to try new flavor and have a lot of varieties in your diet :) So hello, Veggie Burger!

Potato in Chicken Curry, French Fries, Cheesy Wedges (KFC), Whipped Potato (again, KFC), Potato Wedges (KFC again...), in Pies, in Curry Puff (or Karipap in Malay)... Whew, I love potatoes! I've found some recipes using raw potatoes. I'm not sure if I'd like it as much but it's worth a try. Oh yeah, some people even eat raw potato just like that or sprinkle with some salt. Hmm, I want to try to eat it that way too. Funny thing is, even though I've never try raw potato, I remember that I always feel very compelled to do that since.. forever, I think. They look delicious O_o

Note to self:
Peel it first. Don't eat the skin. Someone says the skin is poisonous.
Or, expose the potato to light. If it gets green, it will also be poisonous so peel any green part off (Source: 1,2,).
If handling raw potatoes make my hand itch, I may have allergic reaction to it. If that's so, DO NOT eat it raw!

Sweet Potato. Some people eat this raw too.

Cauliflower mashed with Macadamia/Cashew nuts is said to taste almost like mashed potato. I miss potato.. Mom forgot to buy potatoes *sob* Full recipes for this Raw 'Cauliflower' Mashed Potato available here, here and here. It seems like it has to be eaten fast once made because it doesn't store well even in fridge.

Hmm.. what else? I am pretty sure I have a lot of raw food I want to try when I started this. Oh well, I'll update it when I remember them :)

Excuse Me But I Thought It Was Called Online Training?

2010-10-21T22:28:00.001+08:00

Today I need to rant.

First of all, I'm doing an online business right now. I just started to get serious 2 weeks ago even though I got in for already 6 months. So anyway, how I got started in this business is when my mom bought product her friend was selling as a Teacher's Day Gift because her friend is also her teacher. What started as a gift somehow got extended when she got hooked by the promise of not having to sell products to people, not having to find people face to face, and do this all online. I naturally became her helper or assistant because this IT stuff is a little bit too much for her.

But we got bored because Google Adwords suddenly stopped our advertising campaign for no reason at all. We don't know how to fix it. Suddenly, our 6 months was almost over. Mom don't care either way, she doesn't really need the money. I am the one in trouble here because I am used to living at home and not working outside. I just dislike meeting with people, having to deal with crappy boss, having to be so scared of my own incompetence (damn it, I need a tutor or mentor!). Okay, so anyone who read this would probably say "Big deal! Everyone is doing that! It's call Real Life, DEAL WITH IT!".

But, seriously, if you have a chance of working at home and be successful and then still have time to do your favorite things, would you still choose to... deal with it? Most people I know would choose the former.

So I started getting serious. I started advertising on Facebook. Wow, I got a lot of free members signed up under my network. The response is very good. Still no one upgrade.

But ONE THING that annoys me is My Mentor just won't stop asking me to go to the offline training.

If I live in a place where there is no offline Business Preview and Training, how is she going to train me? She said it's okay to learn through online method, so why is she keep reminding me of the little fact? Can't I just learn about this business, online, and peacefully?

Which Mushrooms are Safe to Eat Raw?

2010-10-21T08:57:00.001+08:00

Morel Mania
Shaggy Mane
Puffball

Is It Safe To Eat Raw Baby Button Mushrooms?
Yes (according to the testimonial in this thread)

Detox Diet - Experimenting with Raw Food Recipes Day 4 to 7

2010-10-21T06:51:00.004+08:00

I'm not a cook, I am fairly a bad cook actually. So this raw diet experiments are quite.... disappointing. Even though there are a lot of mouth watering raw dishes recipes available online, the ingredients are often not that common in Malaysia or is quite hard for me to get in my area or require dehydrator.

So I am very dependent on fruits and sometimes raw soups.

Experimenting with raw soup can be quite irritating. Just because the person who posted the recipe online love it, doesn't mean you would like it too!

The first time I tried raw Tomato Soup, my reaction was.... to give it to my mom who think it tastes good. I just can't get through the taste of raw tomato even though I've added some Garlic to make it spicy which is by the way too spicy for my mom, she ended up adding some Yogurt in it. I was tempted to get a taste of that but I wasn't sure if Yogurt can be considered as raw or not.

Since I don't like the Soup, I thought why not try for Tomato Sauce next time? I like Tomato Sauce and it would make salad much more appetizing. And voila, it was really good! But, the texture is more like Soup. I was baffled so I rechecked the ingredients for both Raw Tomato Soup and Tomato Sauce recipes and guess what did I found? They use same ingredients and methods! Then I seriously wonder where did I go wrong with my first Soup.

And this was the only soup that I enjoy in various other raw *shudders* concoctions I've made for awhile. I don't remember what soups I've made but I do remember not liking them that much :P

The last few days left me wanting for more Tomato Soup/Sauce but there aren't any more Tomato in the fridge... *sad* So I have to move on other ingredients left unused in the fridge.

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Last night I made Broccoli Soup accordingly to the recipe (I think) even though I have no Avocado, Honey or any substitutes for these 2 ingredients. It didn't taste bad exactly (same with my first Tomato Soup) but it's too crunchy.. nutty.. something.. I don't know but I don't like it.

I don't want my mom to get angry for not finishing my Soup so I pretend I fall asleep last night before I got the chance to put it in the fridge >< (sorry, mom!). And so it ended up down the drain... Poor Broccoli. It was expensive too :(

Since there are no Tomato and I don't feel confident enough to start another disaster, I only eat 2 Green Apples for today's breakfast. Usually that would be enough but since I skipped last night dinner (the Broccoli Soup) I'm still hungry. So I went browsing for more recipes and glad to find this - Template for Raw GREEN Soups!

It's a basic guide to follow when concocting any good raw soup which I desperately need. And voila, I've just made a good Cucumber Soup for my lunch! :) I wonder what kind of raw soup I'll make next time. I hope it will be good or better than this.

Cucumber Soup Recipe (Wow, never thought I would ever write down any recipe!)
Ingredients:

1 Cucumber
1 Clove of Garlic
2 Half Stalks of Celery (It was a leftover hehe.. I don't even know why I put it here, maybe I just want to finish it off?)
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste

Directions: (Do I really have to? I'm the only one reading this anyway)

Wash the veggies.
Cut/Chop/Smash/Whatever the veggies to smaller chunks so it'll be easier for the blender to process.
Process them all in the blender and you're finish :P
Serve for one.

PS: I'm starting to think that Detox Diet equals Raw Food Diet... Why do people have to give them different names? The only difference seems to be the length of the diet. Detox Diet is done for limited time, while Raw Food Diet is done forever...

Bean Sprout

2010-10-20T09:22:00.007+08:00

Photo Source: Wikipedia

Bean Sprout is known as Taugeh in Malay/Malaysia.

I'm pretty sure I got this one right but it could be a case of a look alike like Zucchini and Cucumber.

So, please correct me if I'm wrong.

Photo Source: alkiram.net

Anyway, Bean Sprout is usually sprouted from Mung Bean (Source: Wikipedia).

But, Bean Sprout can be sprouted from other beans as well like Soybean (Source: Wikipedia) and Black Bean (Source: alkiram.net).

Photo Source: ayiechan7.blogspot.com

Mmm... Sayur Taugeh Goreng... delicious... :) I wonder if it would taste as delicious, raw?

Update: Thanks to www.trymasak.my for clarifying this for me :)

Mung Bean

2010-10-19T09:30:00.027+08:00

Photo Source: Wikipedia

Mung Bean is known as Kacang Hijau in Malay/Malaysia.

Thanks to cookingwithoutborders.wordpress.com for clarifying this for me :) According to the writer, Mung Bean is also famously known as Green Bean.

Photo Source: cookingwithoutborders.wordpress.com

In Malaysia, it's usually used in Bubur Kacang :) Mmm... delicious..

Red Mung Bean

2010-10-18T09:40:00.010+08:00

Photo Source: Wikipedia

Red Mung Bean is known as Kacang Merah in Malay/Malaysia, right?

Photo Source: feedmelah.com

So am I correct if I say Red Mung Bean is usually used in Bubur Kacang Merah?

PS: Translating without real culinary experience can be confusing... It seems like Azuki/Adzuki Bean and Kidney Bean are also known as Red Bean in western and Kacang Merah in Malay/Malaysia. Not only that, the Red Mung Bean and Azuki/Adzuki Bean photos I found on the internet seems similar in appearance. And to make it even more confusing, the way Red Mung Bean and Azuki/Adzuki Bean are used in cuisines are also similar. I am still not sure if the beans I have in the fridge is Red Mung Bean or Azuki/Adzuki Bean. Can someone clarify this for me, please?

Detox Diet Food - List of Beans and Legumes

2010-10-15T22:09:00.001+08:00

Adzuki Beans
Black Beans
Black-eyed peas
Broad Beans (Fava Beans)
Butter Beans
Calico Beans
Cannellini Beans
Chickpeas (Garbanzo Beans)
Edamame
Great Northern Beans
Italian Beans
Kidney Beans
Lentils
Lima Beans
Mung Beans
Navy Beans
Pinto Beans
Soy Beans, including black soy beans
Split Peas
White Beans

http://lowcarbdiets.about.com/od/southbeachdiet/a/beanslegumes.htm

Detox Diet Recipes - Easy Raw Juice Recipes

2010-10-15T21:53:00.001+08:00

Most of the recipes have 2 ingredients only.
http://www.soymilkquick.com/vegetablejuicerecipes.php

Apple Carrot Juice
2 apples
6 carrots
Wash everything, peel the carrots and cut into sections where needed. Juice everything.

Carrot Strawberry Juice
4-6 Carrots
6 Strawberries
Wash and peel the carrots. Wash the strawberries. Alternate the carrots and strawberries through the juicer.

Pineapple Carrot Juice
3-4 large carrots
4-6 rounds of pineapple
Wash and peel the carrots. Put the carrots through the juicer first, and then the pineapple. Serve over ice.

Relaxation Juice
4 carrots
1/2 cucumber
Wash everything, cut into sections, and process in your juicer.

Tomato Country
4 ripe tomatoes
1 cup green lettuce, packed
Cut the tomatoes up into sections and juice everything in the order given in the ingredient list.

Tomato Haven
6 carrots
2 tomatoes
1 stalk celery
Cut the tomatoes up into sections and juice everything in the order given in the ingredient list.

Detox Diet - How to Avoid Cravings

2010-10-15T21:33:00.001+08:00

Substitute good raw foods for cravings:
If you are feeling cravings for bad foods, eat snacks of natural foods instead. If you are hungry for sweet food, eat fruit instead; dried fruit is a substitute for candy. If you are hungry for salty foods, you can eat sea vegetables or drink celery juice instead (celery juice with a little bit of lemon/lime juice added is delicious and soothing) or eat raw tomatoes, provided you find them agreeable. Cravings for inappropriate fatty foods can be resolved with avocados or soaked/sprouted nuts (also raw sesame tahini). One caution here - when one eats good foods as a response to cravings, there are risks: overeating, psychological dependency, and, in the case of dried fruit, sugar addiction. Substitution may be a good short-term strategy, but is less attractive in the long term.

http://www.living-foods.com/articles/stayingon.html

Detox Diet - Food That Makes You Warm

2010-10-15T21:32:00.001+08:00

Nutmeg
Squash
Sunflower seeds
Walnuts
Chestnut
Brown sugar
Clove
Coconut
Dates
Fresh Ginger
Coriander
Chives
Rice wine or vinegar
Cinnamon
Black pepper
Green/red pepper
Caraway
Mustard greens
Pine nuts
Rice milk
Parsley
Cayenne
Turmeric

http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/dietarytherapy/a/Raw_Foods.htm

Detox Diet - Is White Pepper Powder Considered as Raw Food?

2010-10-15T21:12:00.001+08:00

Detox Diet - Is Yogurt Considered as Raw Food?

2010-10-15T21:11:00.001+08:00

Detox Diet - Experimenting with Raw Food Recipes Day 1 to 3

2010-10-15T21:09:00.004+08:00

I'm exploring for healthy raw food recipes that suits my taste buds right now. Sure, I could eat fruits all day, everyday.. but that would turn me into fruitarian. I kinda miss veggies and meats or more specifically potatoes but I have yet to find any recipe that tastes good and needs local ingredients only.

My first test was on Carrot Juice. My usual Carrot Juice contains a lot of Milk and Sugar which tastes awesome. Without those additions, Milk and Sugar, however... It tastes too much like Grass or Plant.

Then I tried Zuchini Rolls which are finger food made from Zuchini, Lemon, Olive Oil, Garlic, Basil, and Oregano. The Zuchini is cut into flat thin strip and then marinated with Oil made from Lemon, Olive Oil and the spices. It's... not terrible but it tastes like, nothing but Lemon and Garlic. Okay, so I didn't put the spices because I don't have them. So that might be the reason why it doesn't taste good as it should be, other than not measuring the ingredients properly :P

The next on the list was Tomato. It is a very popular veggie, maybe the most popular among raw eaters, vegetarian, even the non vegetarian. Some people even eat it like snack or add Tomato in every meal they had. So I was quite annoyed to find out that, unlike them, I can't stand the taste of Raw Tomato at all. I find it to be extremely off putting that I would puke if I force myself to eat it. Even Lemon that can turn anything to taste good (or so they claimed) can only make it slightly more palatable. I didn't even like Tomato Sauce but it grew on me but Raw Tomato? That might take longer to get used too.

I can eat Raw Tomato if I eat it with something else like Fried Rice which is not an option right now. I wonder what I can substitute Fried Rice with. There are a lot of recipes that use Tomato as the main ingredients though. I think that can considered as eating Raw Tomato with something else, so I decided to try Raw Tomato Soup. I like Soup ^^

Ingredients: 3 Tomatoes, 3 Cloves of Garlic, 2 Onions, half of a Medium Sized Carrot, a pinch of Powdered White Pepper, I don't remember if I added Salt or not but if I did then a pinch of Salt, and 1 or 2 squeezes of Lemon... That's all of it, I think..

I chopped all ingredients to reasonable size to be processed in my small blender. Then put them all in the blender and processed until smooth.

I kinda mixed and matched the recipes because I don't have some of the original ingredient so I guess it's not surprising it failed the taste test. Well, it's not exactly a failure because my mom like it. She added some Yogurt though because it was too spicy (I like it spicy). If my mom like it, that mean the food is usually good *shrug* I guess it's just not my taste.

But I think, the problem with this recipe is I might have added more Garlic than I should. I like Garlic, it's spicy and taste good but if used too much, the smell can be overpowering and taste bitter. I don't like that. On the other hand, if I don't add enough Garlic, the strange sour taste of a Raw Tomato will overwhelm my senses and make me throw up... :P Need to work on the balance.

I should stick with Salad but... I don't like Salad unless it's a Fruit Salad only or mixed with Mayonnaise. Hmm... maybe I should start searching for the right dressing instead.

Edited:
O_O I didn't know Zucchini and Cucumber are two different veggies!

Kylyssa's Unusual Experience

2010-10-14T08:59:00.004+08:00

Recently I came across very good articles about being homeless by Kylyssa. I don't remember how I came across these articles but it raises an interesting insight about myself.

Ever since I was a child I am always afraid of something. I don't know what I'm afraid of but I am always ready for war. I don't even want to pretend to know what I'm thinking.

I often catch myself interested to learn about things like how to survive in the wild, how to neutralize water, what to pack during emergency, how to fight, how to swim and recently how to survive being homeless and how to make beef jerky. Of course, I've never learnt all these things because it isn't useful to me at moment but still... Why do I think like this? Why am I so interested in learning about survival? Is there something wrong with me?

Can you understand this feeling? The feeling that you might be alone any moment or any kind of comfort or luxury will be taken without notice? I don't understand why I feel like this.

I know I live in a developing country, if the big country like US to suddenly declare war on us us... we might not be able to fight back. And then, it's the fact that our land is small.. If any kind of natural disaster like meteor or something happen, our land might be drowned. But, Malaysia is a peaceful country and if meteor whatever happen, life ends. That's it!

I was just a kid! Not more than 9 when I started packing for disaster, if I'm not mistaken. Why do I have this feeling? Did I watch to much cartoon and anime during that time? *racking up my memory* .... Nope, that was on later years.

I think part of it is because I don't trust my luck. Come on, loved the most by parents since baby, clever, pretty, babied by parents and aunts even though you're useless? Get real, only rich kids can live like this forever. Their parents fortune can last them for probably multiple lifetime!

Or is it because I hate civilization? I don't hate hate it, if that makes sense. I love luxury and comfort just like everybody else. But.. there's part of me that wonder what would it be like if there's no technology? Would I be as lazy and piggish? Would I be able to lay in the sun and do manual labor like I wish could? Would I be more active and useful? It's annoying that I keep dreaming of impossible, senseless or useless thing... What's wrong with me?

It's entirely a different matter if a jobless adult feel like this. After all you're expected to make a living of yourself, take care of yourself, pay for the bills, get a home, and not leeching from your parents anymore. So when you couldn't or didn't, you can't help but feel helpless or expecting your parents or friends to kick your butt and leave you. You are at risk of having to fend yourself in the wild and being homeless.

But for a kid to feel like this? A kid who live in a peaceful country, with great family and friend, good school result and no money problem? It's not normal.

Eat.Pray.Love is The Best Movie Ever!

2010-10-13T08:48:00.002+08:00

Last Thursday, me and my mom watched a movie. We didn't know which movie to pick but am I so so glad that we had chosen to Eat Pray Love. I think it's the best movie I've ever watch!

The sceneries are gorgeous. The food is yummy! The dialogs are funny :D And the best thing is, what she feels, I feel it! I actually cried in that cinema.

Um, yeah, I probably shouldn't say this but.. I wish I could be as passionate as her and her final lover could be... *blushes* It seems so warm but so unreal. I don't think I've ever seen any couple like that before.. I love how she said "You're much cuter than Ketut" :) I mean it's so ohhh..... it's a lovely scene....

I love how she enjoy her food.. It makes me damn hungry... *chuckle* And, she looks so happy, it's like she's playing with the spaghetti! I enjoy it very much :D

After watching it, I have a hard time to stop smiling....

She definitely deserves her happy ending.

Why Do I Walk Heavily on Feet?

2010-10-12T09:00:00.002+08:00

I walk heavily on my feet. I always feel like there's something strange with the way I walk but I didn't know what it is until recently. It has nothing to do with laziness or reluctance to go somewhere I have to go. It's just that I sort of stomping on the ground when I walk.

It wasn't that obvious until I walk on a wood floor during our latest family trip. I even got nicknamed 'little elephant' because of this. I suspect, it's because I walk on my heel. My heels crack a lot and often sore after long walking. Not to mention that my shoe heel often crack too soon than the rest of shoe.

Is that how people stomp? Why do I stomp? Most men walk heavily on their feet, right? But women usually walk lightly on their feet... Is this natural or a social expectation?

Anyway, I thought it's strange that my mom is way heavier than me but her feet are light. We all walk like a soldier, me, mom, aunts, but they don't stomp or walk heavily at all. I want to stop walking like that.

I tried looking for answers on the internet and so far, no satisfying answer yet but, I found people who walk heavily on their feet just like I do: (click on the link to understand my reply or explanation below each link)

Emily
True, and I always thought that was odd until recently.

CC
She's 16, not fat, and not a nun (huh, I didn't know nun walk heavily on their feet on purpose) and her parents thought it's because she walk on her heel. So, how are we suppose to walk? On tip toe?

after all, Fnick is superman.
Um no, Katie. It has nothing to do with the shoes I'm wearing. Control my foot step instead of letting it drop? Is that how everyone else do it? I thought it should be natural, where you don't have to think about walking in order to walk rightly? But I'll keep this in mind. Thanks, Katie.

rrossorr's neighbor
This one make me almost laugh. Yes, when I walk, it rattles everything on the floor. You'd be mistaking it for a tiny earthquake.

exl_chic
I'm starting to wonder if she has the same problem like me but didn't realize it...

Other than that, there aren't much about walking heavily on the net at all. I found this article about knee pain that seems related to this problem. I wonder if this problem is actually uncommon or I'm using the wrong phrases here for searching.

So anyway, here are some of the relevant advices I compiled from all these links:

Try to relax when you walk
Control your foot as it hits the floor instead of letting drop
Walk on tiptoe
Walk on heel then toe
Think lightly when you walk

And.. some more! A step by step guide on how not to walk heavily by a silat practitioner!

Don't ''step'' but place your foot & shift the weight onto it (tigers are experts at doing this when hunting)
Create a low centre of gravity over a wide stance
When you do shift the weight onto your lead foot dip slightly to again slowly transfer the weight onto the floor
Depending on your foot you may find it less noisy to ''tip toe'' or to transfer the weight in a normal walking manner. My feet tend to crack when i tip toe.

And last but not least, another walking guide by Dr. Jolie BookSpan:

When going down steps or a hill, use muscles to step down lightly.
Use the leg still on the upper step to decelerate.
Instead of just falling onto the lower step, keep weight on the upper leg to lower yourself lightly.
Then add shock absorption from the leg that steps down.
Bend the knee and use thigh muscles as you touch the ground.
The same principles apply to normal walking and running.

I wish we'd go on more holiday trip soon :D I would like to test these advices out before I forget! We're back at home now, so there's no wooden floor to test on.

When I tried them on the tiled floor, my walk is noticeably less noisy as long I do it slowly. As soon as I accelerate my paces, it gets noisy again. So it's hard to say for sure if it works or not.

Eat.Pray.Love (Take Two)

2010-10-12T06:51:00.001+08:00

What is so great about Eat Pray Love anyway?

Sure, the sceneries are beautiful, the food is terrific,

Eat Pray Love is about a woman taking a journey to find herself. It's a common practice

Have you ever look around and marvel at the sceneries? It's odd at how gorgeous the sceneries are in this film. Everything is so beautiful, I wonder if we live in the same world at all. But then again, even our non unique house looks so beautiful too when viewed in the camera. I wonder if it's just a trick of light or I just didn't take my time to enjoy the view properly. I'm glad that I can still enjoy the experience by watching this film.

MUYMG Old Posts

2010-10-11T08:59:00.002+08:00

Okay, they're giving me headache because some of them combined many topics. So I'd either have to rewrite and put it on different posts or just delete it.

So far, here're the topics I have in mind for MUYMG:

Health (my favorite topic)
Dictionary (explains terms used in this blog such as introspection)
Music
Movie
Video
Anime
Manga
Cartoon
Comic
Relationship
Events
Hobby
Blog (blog struggles and updates)
Pet
Food (recipes, dining experience, cooking experience, etc)
Life

Hm, looks very good to me..

MUYMG Blog Mind Renovation

2010-10-10T09:09:00.002+08:00

I know I'm going somewhere with this blog. It's clearer now.

It's not about money. I don't care. I can go back to further my study, my result is good enough anyway. Or I could get work on.. oh, I don't know.. McDonald, KFC? Whatever... I don't care... I just can't take too much pressure. It's not my whole life anyway. So no more banners as I hate those anyway...

It's my journal except I vow to write it in better grammar and vocabularies.

It's not about the reader. Sure, it would be good to have more readers who would leave comments. But the point is I want to have a conversation. I think lately Twitter satisfy those needs better than any of my blog visitor because they aren't replying to me just to be polite. So no more Shoutbox? Hmm... I have to delete my account then.

All I want is to analyze myself. I'm always interested in psychology. I want to know what makes me angry? Why? What is my strength? What is my weakness? How can I succeed in life? How can I help others? Why am I not as compassionate as others? Why am I so lazy? I wonder why I react like that? I wonder how people interact with each other? I wonder who am I? Who are my mom? Who are the people who I thought I know? There's just so many depth and details in everything.. Stuff like that is intriguing.

Have I told you my dream? When I was a kid, I always dreaming of being a cold, beautiful, smart lady in unsuspecting front. The type that people usually brush off. I also dream of being very good in what I do. I don't know what that is but, damn, I'm going to find it. Hopefully it's not something like sleeping too much, being half-ass, things like that. I'm dreaming of having a lot of money comes to me without much effort.

I'm dreaming of not being a nuisance to others. I can live alone and makes money. I dream of sending my mom to travel around the world, buying her anything she wants, pamper her to spas and so on... Seriously, what am I thinking? I think my dream is kinda strange for a kid.

It's like all I want is to live peacefully. I don't care about what others think.

To be more accurate, I live in my world and I don't care to explore, to care about politics, to care about manipulating others, to care about being better than others, to create havoc in other people lives. So it definitely is not about popularity.

Well, my mom always says that I look like I'm walking on cloud, like a girl in love, devoid of logical thinking with no sense of the surrounding. I guess, it's true.

It's a blissful, serene feeling, no doubt..... but I'm starting to wonder if I'm destined to achieve anything great at all in this world, if people would ever remember my foot prints. Dreamers don't seem to be that successful in real life.

Oh, well, one step at a time. For now, I want to accept that this blog is for me, not others. So calm down and make it good for myself first before I cater to others.

Detox Diet - Why Am I Doing This Detox Thing Again?

2010-10-06T17:40:00.005+08:00

One thing I hope to cross out from my to do list is to be healthy, fit and beautiful naturally. I abhor makeups, pills and any other vitamins that can help me achieve my dreams easily. I'm not a masochist but I do know that quick solution is often not a permanent one.

Makeups can hide your flaw but I don't want that flaw to exist in the first place.
Pills and supplements might help me lose weight but the moment I stop eating them, I'll gain my weight back.

VeMMA is the best example for this. When I drink VeMMA, I feel more energized no doubt but it doesn't change my lifestyle. When I drink VeMMA daily for a few days, I feel my skin feel smoother and more supple but it doesn't change my eating habit. When I drink VeMMA daily for a few weeks, my yeast problem is gone! But does it change my hygiene habit? No, it doesn't.

The moment I stop drinking VeMMA, all these problems come back. So even though I really like VeMMA, if possible, I don't want to rely on it all my life.

Maybe I'm just a hard head or just plain stupid. I don't know... VeMMA feels like a quick fix to me. I'm only 22 years old, with no illness, lots of time in hand and is fully capable to take care of myself and so I feel like someone like me shouldn't have to rely on any kind of pills and supplements to be healthy.

It's an entirely another matter if you're busy, obese, old, have cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, eczema, arthritis, asthma, depression or various other complications. You can read a lot of testimonies here or watch it here (they're in Malay). VeMMA is known to be very helpful in this matter. This is normal and VeMMA is definitely needed to improve the quality of their life.

So now I'm on detox diet because I need to create a healthy eating habit which will help me to be healthy naturally. Of course, exercise is also needed... and this is where my problem actually lies..

Ah, well, one step at a time...

I have no problem controlling my diet anyway if I want to and I've proven it before. Why did I quit anyway? Oh yeah, after I started living with my mom again, she cooks all the time and I don't have to cook. And since she's a meat lover and cooks a lot of food even though there's only two of us, there goes my diet down the drain. I know it's not her fault 100 percents because even though I hate to waste good food, we can always store the leftovers in the fridge.

That leads to another problem though. Mom has this... I don't know.. She seems unable to control herself to finish any available food in house as soon as possible. I also know that mom like cooking and eating with others. She loves feeding others. So I kinda feel guilty to see her munch down all those food alone and so.. I got suck up into her diet.

It helps though that when I told her I want to do detox diet, we kinda agree not to tempt each other. So now, even though she still cook a lot of food, the food is for her. There is no need for me to feel guilty about it.

Still, why detox diet? I didn't do much research about it but I chose to do it anyway.

Looking at the menu, I just thought, finally enough fruits and vegetables for me to eat everyday! And it suits my calories need and my taste buds love it too. The health benefits are just the icing on the cake ;)

Wow, MUYMG Post Is On Google Search First Page?

2010-10-05T20:49:00.005+08:00

*grin* Wow.... I didn't expect this.... Checked out Blogger Stats today and found out that one of the traffic sources comes from Google Search! Clicked on this link:

http://www.google.com.my/search?hl=ms&q=conclusion+of+1+malaysia&btnG=Cari&meta=&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=

And found out... Jeng.. jeng.. jeng.....

(Click on the image to view it in original size.)

Conclusion of Malaysia Independence Day Year 2010? is on the first page for "conclusion of 1 malaysia" search term!!!! I'm so happy ^^ and to think that I'm just an amateur moron.... I can't believe the post got a spot for such a serious subject *sniff* The other websites and blogs on that page are all professional or intellectual writers! XD

Updated on 6 October 2010:
I'm speechless...

That post is actually on the first page for "conclusion of independence of malaysia" search term too! It's not that extraordinary except there is NO other blog on that page and wikipedia.com is there too... *totally awestruck*

Detox Diet - Why Conscious Diet is Torture?

2010-10-04T17:30:00.011+08:00

I'm always dieting. I mean I always try to eat more healthy without being too restricting. I'm health conscious and pay attention to what's going on with my body. So even though I am very fond of anything sweet, crunchy and fatty, I know that only vegetables and fruits can satisfy my hunger. I notice that when I eat too much meat, my body heats up but I still feel hungry or at least unsatisfied. The same goes with eating sweets.

Diet alone is not enough. My body also needs to exercise to properly digest the food. Thanks to The You Docs newsletter I've subscribed for months now, I also realized that more inactive I am, the more often I will feel hungry. Is there any wonder why active people can eat little now?

Until 6 days ago, this kind of diet worked for me. It's not demanding and allows me to enjoy a wide variety of food. The problem however lies on the food portion and taking time to exercise (because I naturally prefer activities where I don't have to move much like drawing, playing computer games, washing dishes and so on).

Even though I can eat very little to go on with my daily routine, I enjoy food a little bit too much that I can eat a lot even though I'm not hungry as long the food is delicious. So my body weight ended up like a yoyo because of this. When there's a lot of good food, it goes up the scale. When there aren't that much food, it goes down. Frankly, I don't really care except I went over the top this Raya.

My body weight is now 69.6 kilogram the last time I checked with Tesco body scale and I'm itchy. The only time my body will feel itchy is when my body weight is higher than recommended, when I'm eating badly, when my hygiene is bad, or when I don't have enough exercise :P Heh, I guess I don't really need a body scale or a doctor to tell me if I'm healthy or not.

People can't really tell if they only look at my face and body.. The last time I went to a clinic, the nurse was bewildered to see my body weight was way heavier than what she'd expected looking at me. She had me on that body scale twice or thrice, I don't remember, but I do love her surprised look :D Oh, by the way, that was 3 or 4 years ago when I was applying for polytechnic admission.

I feel like I should make a change of my diet. I should take charge of my health. I know mom's and aunts' diet aren't good for me and they have tendency to cook too much. I feel guilty if I didn't finish off the food because they look unhappy if people don't enjoy their food. Their food is delicious and it wasn't a hardship to eat them but it's certainly hard to say no to their offer. Of course, there is also my hate to waste anything especially food.

My rule of thumb is never take more than what you can eat. I hate it when my sibling, cousins, colleagues take a lot of food and only finish a small portion of it. I feel like "Why the hell did you take those food? You should know your own limit, you bloody moron!" Other irritating habit that all of these people have (except for my colleagues, we aren't that close) is they would push their leftover to people like me who can eat a lot of food. I'm like, "You care about your waist, what make you think we don't care about ours?" and "You hate to see those go to waste then why the hell did you take that many in the first place?!".

But I eat them anyway because I hate to see those good food goes to waste. I hate thin people sometimes. When I get mad at them, they get mad at me back. They always tell me the same thing like how they feel so hungry that they feel like they can eat like a giant that's why they take a big plate of food and so it's not their fault. Seriously? No matter how hungry you are, you can't eat more than what your stomach will allow, unless you want to feel sick. If you usually eat half of a tiny plate, the most you can eat when you're starving is probably just a full tiny plate.

Don't.Overestimated.Your.Thin.Belly.Period. Especially, if you notice the same routine repeats the same result all the time. It's not like you can't ask for more later.

It's a good thing that my new diet is completely different from my mom's diet. I'm forced to cook for myself and she's forced to cook only for herself and other guests so there's no risk for me to stray from my diet. Oh God, I just hope there's no more wedding invitation I'd have to go during these 40 days, any almost expired food surprises or sudden extra food when guests fail to come accordingly.

This is my second attempt at detox diet already and I hope it'll stay this time.

Detox Diet - Daily Log of My Detox Diet

2010-10-04T15:45:00.007+08:00

Detox Diet First Attempt - Failed
29 September 2010 Drank water and fruit juices, walked on treadmill for 30 minutes
30 September 2010 Drank water and fruit juices, walked on treadmill for 30 minutes
01 October 2010 Supposed to drink water and fruit juices only but mom cooked almost expired scallops so I also ate fried rice with scallops and fishes... I don't remember if I walk on treadmill for 30 minutes or not today. It's just a one time thing so I let it go and continue with my diet. The scallops were delicious!
02 October 2010 Supposed to eat uncooked fruits and vegetables only but there's a wedding today, so during the banquet I ate rice, a lot of chicken, meat, vegetables, some fruits and lychee's juice. Before that, aunts came to visit so they can go with us to the wedding. They brought a delightfully delicious snacks. I figured my diet will be ruined later anyway so I munched on those, a lot. I didn't even attempt to do any exercise. I knew by this time, my detox diet is completely ruined......

Detox Diet Second Attempt - Still On Going
03 October 2010 Drank water only, forgot to walk 30 minutes on the treadmill
04 October 2010 Drank water only, didn't exercise
05 October 2010 Drank water only, didn't exercise
06 October 2010 Yes, finally!!! Fruits!!!! It was only 1 AM but I was already munching on those delicious pears! Ate 3 of them. Then late in the evening, I ate 2 Red Apples. Still didn't exercise. Oh well...
07 October 2010 Um, I think I ate Pears for breakfast... Then Red Apples for dinner..
08 October 2010 For morning (or was it lunch time already?) I ate Red Apples. We went out for movie and I'm very glad I managed to resist joining my mom munching on those popcorns, fillets and french fries... It was torture but my diet is showing good effect by the time I went home.. I'm starting to visit the toilet again. Anyway at night I ate Green Apples. And then a few hour later, 4 Starfruits which I slowly ate until the next morning..
09 October 2010 Ugh... I got stomach ache for the rest of the morning. Supposed to go to friend's sister's wedding today but I didn't. It seems my body started removing those build-up poops out of my body. Went to the toilet 2 times afterwards then got tired and went to sleep it off after drinking a lot of water. Woke up a few hours later, bathing, drinking a lot of water. Eat dates for early evening meal.
10 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
11 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
12 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
13 October 2010 Finally, I've come to the final phase! I can mix my fruits now :) I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
14 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
15 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
16 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
17 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
18 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
19 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
20 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
21 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
22 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
23 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
24 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
25 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
26 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
27 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
28 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
29 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
30 October 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
31 October 2010 I ate Fried Peanuts by accident so I don't think that makes this Detox Diet a failure. Then I ate a lot of Dried Dates, Date Candies (the Kernels were replaced by Almond), Raisins and a Plum. No exercise as usual.
01 November 2010 I don't remember what I ate but I know they were all raw and still no exercise.
02 November 2010 Before dawn, I ate Salad (Salad + Tomato + Onion + Grated Coconut + Red Chilli + Lemon + Salt + Powdered White Pepper) and munched on Grated Coconuts). Evening and night, I munched on Hazel Nuts and Brazillian Nuts. Still not exercising.
03 November 2010 Day 32....
04 November 2010 Day 33....
05 November 2010 Day 34....
06 November 2010 Day 35....
07 November 2010 Day 36....
08 November 2010 Day 37....
09 November 2010 Day 38....
10 November 2010 Day 39....
11 November 2010 Day 40....

Detox Diet - Diet Oh Diet

2010-10-02T14:02:00.004+08:00

So starting Wednesday, 29 September, which is 4 days ago, I came with a mission to detoxify myself. The reasons would be because my body feels itchy lately and I know it's because of my poor diet during Raya. Another reason is not surprisingly, to lose the unused fat in my body.

Okay so what does a Detox Diet consists of?

The First Three Days
Water fast. Drink water only. No food. You might feel tired during these 3 days, so rest a lot. Some experts don't recommend this but to add fruit juices in the mix. Eh, I don't care because I spend my time at home most of the time anyway...

Then, Eat This for One Week
Eat as many fruits as you want just don't mix them up. You should only eat one type of food during each meal. Example, apples for breakfast, Pears for lunch and Oranges for dinner. Feel free to switch fruits you want to eat for that particular meal or day. Mmm... sweet Apples.. :P

Lastly, Eat This for One Month
You can only eat raw food but now you aren't limited to fruits only. Feel free to mix them up. Eat just to satisfy your hunger. Don't go overboard.

This is just a summary. For more details about the detox diet, visit http://healthrecipes.com/detox_diet.htm.

So, how is it going?

Daily Log of My Detox Diet

I don't know what would happen after this diet is over. Mom thinks that this is too extreme. I think not because this is unlike my diet when I used to live alone.

I knew it will be harder now that I live with my mom. We have different diets. However it has been only four days and I didn't realize how much of a temptation my mom's diet and outside interference could be. Ugh.... and so now I failed and have to restart from day one again, tomorrow... :/

Wish me good luck! Thanks.

To Find Something to Focus on Your Blog

2010-09-20T07:30:00.016+08:00

Current Assignment

Blog Struggles: Finding My Blog Focus

The first task is to label blog posts properly.

In my previous post I talk about my difficulty in choosing labels set for MUYMG. I solved that problem by visiting Yahoo Answer and EzineArticles.com. They have nice sets of categories that I could use along with Lorelle's cheat sheet. I'm pleased to say that I like the new labels set in MUYMG :)

Yes, I've finally done it!!! *pat myself in the back*

Okay, now onto the next steps of the assignment:

Count how many posts you got in each category.
Find out the top three categories.
See if there is any similarity or recurring themes in the posts even though they're in different categories.

If there is any theme, congratulation, you've probably found your blog focus!

Or, you could just skip all this steps and blog about something you're expert at.

Assignment Result

Animals (1), Education (2), Events (3), Fashion (2), Food (3), Health (2), Introspection (14), Music (2), Relationship (6), Tech News (14), Videos (3)
Introspection (14), Tech News (14), Relationship (6)
At first glance, Introspection and Tech News have the same number of posts. But, after looking back at my posts in each category, it seems like they are actually divided to three main categories with lots of subcategories. The main categories are Introspection (Education, Events, Fashion, Food, Health, Music, and Relationship), Tech News and Off Topics (Animals).

Conclusion

It seems that MUYMG is already heavy on Introspection. I have a tech blog where I review softwares and online services that I use and post some tutorials. I'll moved posts under Tech News into that blog and relabel the remaining posts under Tech News to Blog Updates so MUYMG will focus on Introspection only. It would be better this way, I think. I look forward to learn more about Introspection.

What's next?
I'm renovating my tech blog so I probably don't have much time to post here but I'll try to update at least once a week. So, that means no more post for this week :)

What If I Don't Enjoy Sharing My Life On The Internet?

2010-09-08T03:34:00.001+08:00

I Don't Hate Selling

2010-09-08T03:24:00.001+08:00

It just that most of my buying experiences are bad. They

Reevaluating MUYMG after 3 Months

2010-09-08T00:13:00.004+08:00

My First Thought

I didn't know what to expect by creating this blog.

I just want to organize my thoughts because everything is jumbled in my head. I plan and plan, but hardly acting according to my numerous plans. I keep changing my mind because of my own insecurity and lack of trust.

I don't want to feel like a failure anymore but I don't think I can change easily. So I took a small step of creating ~~NotALeader~~ (now known as MUYMG).

Here, I hope to leave my track and be somebody I can be proud of while sorting out my mind.

The First Post

I have a lot on my mind during that time. I've just joined VeMMA business and got intimidated with the prospect of cashing out more money for advertising and marketing, dealing with customers, and sharing real name, contact information, and photo with the world.

At the same time I was working on improving my skill in creating and coding layout using HTML and CSS which I've been hoping to master for a long time. With no money, no skill, no job...

I'd say, I have a lot of issues to deal with.

So it was expected that my first few posts are mostly me, whining about... everything.

Three Months in Rewind

At first, the whining helped me to release tension. I don't care what others are thinking about me. It's what I need that matter. I want to whine and whine until all is gone from my system.

So ~~NotALeader~~ was the perfect name for this blog.

Of course, I don't just whined. Sometimes I post interesting things that I found on the net. If I'm feeling neutral, I post about Blogger and IT stuff. Most of the times though, I wrote about my dreams, my ambitions, my faults, my plans, and without realizing it, I'm getting deeper into self introspection and falling in love again with writing essays.

~~NotALeader~~ is no longer a suitable name for this blog.

I still have my issues and I still cannot make up my mind on what to do so with one quick decision I changed the name to MUYMG which is the acronym to Make Up Your Mind, Girl!.

It was strange but after that, my posts get longer and sound more positive. Even the vibes of the blog is more positive and calmer instead of negative and gloomy.

The topics are still focusing on introspection and IT stuff. I write about Introspection when I need to be more honest with myself and when I have something to talk about. I write about IT, when I'm feeling neutral or when I need to post quick content.

Ups and Downs During the Three Months

One of the reason I create this blog is to create a habit of being consistent. I have realized this truth for a long time now. Anyone who is good at something is often found consistently practicing and experimenting to achieve amazing result and persistent against whatever that may come to stop him.

Unfortunately, I am one of those people who easily abandon their target when things get hard. That is why I have no great achievement to boast in my life. It's really shameful.

So in order to break that bad habit, I try to write at least one post everyday except weekends.

I'm glad to say that I rarely break that rule.

What Next?

I don't know yet but I want to get better.

MUYMG is one of the best things that happen in my life because it slowly helps me to create a routine and giving me something to focus on. I tend to get distracted by shiny objects especially those offered by online marketers.

However, MUYMG forces me to accept the fact that certain things just take time and cannot be rushed. It helps me to be more patient with myself and stop belittling my own ability.

So I am taking it one step at a time. Slowly, but steadily making progress.

It's In The Blood

2010-09-07T20:15:00.001+08:00

It's in the blood.

It has been a running joke between me and my mother.

Our family is not normal.

We sleep during the day.

We play during the night.

We can eat and eat and eat and...

We avoid being with other people.

We stare at them for being weird.

They stare at us for being different.

Choosing Labels Set For Your Blog

2010-09-07T07:30:00.007+08:00

I am not sure where am I going with this blog. So while searching for clues, I stumbled upon Lorelle's blog post where she adviced to give each post in your blog appropriate label. Then count how many post you got in each category to find out your passion or strength.

I'm glad her advice comes along with category cheat sheet :)

Books
Celebrities
Crafts
Television
Movies
Events
Games
Music
Videos
Censorship
Education
Health
Politics
Science
Tech News
Dating
Family
Food
Pets
Travel
Work

It is really hard for me to choose a label for each blog post. Ever since the beginning, I keep tweaking the labels hoping to finally find a set that I really like and working for this blog. However that remains to be seen.

This cheat list really help me out with the labeling problem, I've been trying it since last week. It was great for the most part but right now I have a little of problem with completing the first task (proper post labeling). I'm not sure in which categories certain posts actually belong.

For example, I have posts labeled as 'Communication'. So in which category do these post belong? 'Politics'? And what about my post about 'Introspection'? 'Science'? XD

So anyway I'm still trying to figure this out. Hopefully I will be done soon and proceed on the next task. :)

Mercun, Bunga Api and Bunga Api?

2010-09-07T07:00:00.007+08:00

Interesting terms I found while researching about firecracker are firecracker, sparkler and firework (aka aerial firework).

In Malay, firecracker is 'mercun', sparkler is 'bunga api' and firework is.... 'bunga api' too?

I'm sure you know what firecracker is. It is small explosive thing but very capable to injure us. There are many unfortunate accidents that can attest to this every Ramadhan in Malaysia.

Hello, I'm a mini bomb! Be careful!

Sparkler is the long stick you can hold while producing bright showery light:

No smoking please!

And lastly, firework is the beautiful display you often see during festival that light up the sky:

Pretty.... loud! Heh!

Does anyone know the correct terms for firework and sparkler in Malay? It seems like both are known as 'bunga api' in Malaysia.

Reference Sources: www.howstuffworks.com
Photo Sources: picapp.com

Ooops, the pictures are gone...

2010-09-06T07:00:00.004+08:00

MUYMG was shared between my old and new Blogger accounts. So I was a little bit worried if something bad will happen after I deleted my old account last week.

Sure enough, it did but not as bad as I imagined:

My beautiful banner :)

|
|
v

Is gone :(

I know I didn't misread the warnings:

So even though the posts remain if the author delete his/her Blogger account, the pictures are not included because they will be deleted as well along with the account IF the pictures were uploaded directly to Blogger.

I guess they forgot to mention that part.

Oh well, I was too lazy to upload the pictures in MUYMG to my Photobucket account so some of the pictures are gone now. It's a good thing that I don't use a lot of pictures in my posts or else, it's gonna be hard to replace the pictures.

I didn't notice any other problem though. Do you?

2010-09-05T21:10:00.001+08:00

Closing Blogger Account - Finally!

2010-09-03T00:01:00.009+08:00

Yesterday, I closed my old Blogger account which was created before Google bought Blogger. At that time, the option to delete Blogger account was not available yet.

But when it became available, it was only for Blogger account created under Google account because in order to delete your Blogger account, you have to delete your entire Google account. So you would also be deleting your Gmail account, Adsense, Reader and so on.

That sounds bad enough on its own but hey, an option is an option. Just my luck, that option was not extended to my old Blogger account because it was apparently not considered as a Google account. I guess the merging process between the popular Blogger and giant Google sites was not done yet.

While I don't blame them, this has been a thorn on my side ever since then. I don't like to keep my accounts hanging. I either use them or close them properly.

So I am very glad to see this option on my old Blogger account early this week.

Step by Step to Deleting Blogger/Google account

1. First, sign into your Blogger account, and go to My Account.

2. Then, scroll down to My products and click Edit.

3. Option below will appear. Click on the link.

4. It states that after deleting your Google Account, you will no longer be able to use any of the products listed in this page so there is no turning back if you go through with this.

So if you're sure, select each checkbox, fill in your current password and click on the Delete Google Account button to delete your account. Else, click Cancel.

5. Lastly you will get this message if you've successfully deleted your account. Now you cannot login with that username and password anymore.

Finally, one thorn has gone!

Update: Ooops, the pictures are gone...

Conclusion of Malaysia Independence Day Year 2010?

2010-09-01T23:52:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was 31 August, The Independence Day. However, it sure doesn't feel like one except for a few national flags here and there. Today is even worse. It feels like yesterday doesn't exist at all.

That could have just been me because I'm stuck in my bedroom like usual. Seeing these answers on YouthSays.com Malaysia Community however change my mind:

How was your Merdeka's holiday? Have you realized the importance of being together as a Nation or it is just a normal holiday for you guys?

Here are some of the common answers:

like other holidays....stay at home n rest
boring because too many assignment to do...
normal... but diferent with keadaan dulu kala dgr jer lagu terus bgun bulu roma...
kena kerja... setiap tahun.. tak merdeka la kiranya..
no feeling, worst merdeka ever
just a boring day....huhuhu
nothin special...jus another day...was even quieter this year...
tiada pengisian yg membina ...
just another normal holiday (that i needed so desperately) tapi dengan penuh keimanan sempena berpuasa.
nothin special...jus another day...was even quieter this year...
shopping for raya...
there was no content in any merdeka celebration. and always it is useless.
normal. spending entire day locking up in the room

To sum it up, from 83 answers, majority agreed that it feels like just another NORMAL, boring holiday with nothing special to boot. Most answers are variance of those I've listed above.

Only 13 answers are different or slightly different:

ya, already realized
yeah!
the ceremony was great.
yeah..1 malaysia
great! feel like we all unite again.
give us a chance to celebrate our ID
i realized the important of tis merdeka how hard our leader got it...
look at news of racism?
to love this country n being together is not only on this 1 day...if deep in our mindset n heart we love this motherland, then this day could be just a normal but meaningful day.
the merdeka eve was fun and its all about getting together and celebrate...as for merdeka day its all about resting
Important but people need to set 'Merdeka' meaning in their self first.... than u know the holidays
hari yg ptot kte bersyukur pd pejuang2 tanah air kte yg sanggup menggadaikan nyawa demi tanah air..
go to see culture boy and girl when national day..

I wonder how to feel more deeply about this special day?

“The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes

Source: ThinkExist.com

Updated on 6 October 2010:
Wow, this post actually got listed on Google Search page one! Thanks for reading!

2010-09-01T22:59:00.001+08:00

When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.”
Confucius quotes

Source: ThinkExist.com

Source: AllLayedOut.com

Why and How to Celebrate Malaysia Independence Day?

2010-08-31T17:24:00.003+08:00

Happy Independence Day to All Malaysians!

Wow, time flew so fast I didn't realize it's 31 August today!

Yeah, I'm a bad Malaysian but I honestly don't know how to.. you know.. gain a sense of nationhood (semangat kenegaraan).

I dislike reading unless it's smutty or funny and short, I dislike travelling so I could careless about the hot spots in Malaysia, I don't watch news because I don't watch television, I don't read news because I don't buy newspaper, I don't read news online because I don't even know why should I care about things I don't understand (politic, people, social problems).

Hmm... I guess I just found out the root of my problems.

Anyway, I'm glad Malaysia has finally gain our freedom, I'm glad our leaders love Malaysia and its people very much, I'm glad our leaders are capable to maintain our freedom. But I wonder, what does this freedom means? I had never think about it before.

All I know, during Independence Day people install Jalur Gemilang (nickname for Malaysia flag) on their house roofs and cars. And then, there will be a major celebration at the central that we can watch on television. There are fireworks, marching bands, artists singing national songs, and oh, everyone involved will be wearing great costumes that shows the wide varieties of people that live in Malaysia.

It is kind of superficial so I always stay away from those activities even during my childhood. I just don't see the point. I didn't even realized what great costumes they were wearing during the concert, I guess that proves that my sense of fashion has always been that bad haha :D

Anyway, to celebrate something, you must know the reason for the celebration. It cannot be superficial because then it wouldn't feel like a celebration. The reason has to come from within.

So, I tried to come up with at least 1 good reason to celebrate Malaysia Independence Day but I can't come up with any. Oh, sure I could say because the colonial is gone and we've gain our freedom but why is it good that the colonial is gone and what kind of freedom do we gain? I can come up with vague ideas but I'm not even sure if they are valid at all.

I have to reread my history lessons.

It's not strange that my memory is that bad. Even though my scores were above average in most subjects including History, I never manage to remember much of what I've learnt in class. It's like my only goal was to pass the exam. After that, all the knowledge I've gained became obsolete and so it was purged from my memory automatically.

And so I wonder, what about those students who never come up to class, who never read, and just plain fail the History test? Do they celebrate Malaysia Independence Day at all? Do they realize the significance behind this event?

I keep hearing about how people these days don't have strong sense of nationhood (semangat kenegaraan). It sure doesn't feel like anyone is celebrating Malaysia Independence Day today so that could be the truth or people just can't celebrate much because they're fasting (lol too tired to do anything).

I know I'm a bad citizen. I tried to do better these days but it's a slow process.

So what about you?

Are you a good Malaysian?
Do you know why you celebrate Malaysia Independence Day?
How do you celebrate Malaysia Independence Day?

Here are some interesting answers to above questions from Malaysian Youth:

How you guys celebrate this year National day?

Youth 1:
just staring in front of lappy, watching movies, gaming, and doing tons of lab reports. urgh. btw, happy happy National Day. Malaysia is surely not proud of me.

Youth 2:
g shopping...ada sale...tp, mat2 rempit memekak jew keje nyer...bingit tinge...

Youth 3:
stayed in my room, listening to avenged sevenfold new album and usha-ing this posted;
Hishamuddin Rais - Negara(MALAYSIA) Ciplak
http://tukartiub.blogspot.com/2010/08/anak-muda-bangun-melawan.html

Source: YouthSays.com Malaysia Community

I want to say I am glad that I am not the only one... but... that is kind of cruel because that means what they say about today's youth's ignorance is true!

“A man only becomes wise when he begins to calculate the approximate depth of his ignorance.”
Gian Carlo Menotti quotes

Source: ThinkExist.com

Finally, A Favicon For This Blog!

2010-08-30T23:31:00.006+08:00

Hi! I almost thought I won't be blogging today :) But then I finally got this favicon thing to work on this blog so I thought why not make a guide so others can do the same.

Of course, there are a lot of guides out there on how to change the favicon on Blogger and yet it still takes 2 days for me to get it right even though I follow the instruction step by step! I have to tweak a little bit here and there to make it works.

For those who don't know what favicon is:
A favicon (short for favorites icon), also known as a shortcut icon, website icon,URL icon, or bookmark icon is a 16×16 or 32×32 pixel square icon associated with a particular website or webpage.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Favicon

So this is the original instruction I got from various websites and blogs on how to put favicon on Blogger. They are basically the same in most places.

Create a .ico file. (I went to http://www.favicon.cc/ to create mine)
Upload the file somewhere (At first I uploaded mine on Google Site)
Login your Blogger account.
Go to Design tab.
Click on Edit HTML.
Click Ctrl + F to open browser search function
Insert </head> as the search phrase and click Enter.
Put these codes,
<link href='url to your favicon' rel='shortcut icon'>
<link href='url to your favicon' rel='icon'>
before the </head> section.
Click Save Template.

But, this is how I get mine to work:

Create a favicon, the file format doesn't matter as long the size is right, it's okay.
Upload the file somewhere (I uploaded mine on Webs.com)
Login your Blogger account.
Go to Design tab.
Click on Edit HTML.
Click Ctrl + F to open browser search function
Insert </head> as the search phrase and click Enter.
If you use .ico file, use this code:
<link href='url to your .ico file' rel='shortcut icon' type='image/x-icon' />
Example, <link href='http://elinaw.webs.com/favicon.ico' rel='icon' type='image/x-icon' />
If you use other file type such as .png, .png and .gif, use this code:
<link href='url to your .png, .jpg, .gif, .bmp or other file type' rel='icon' type='image/file_type' />
Example, <link href='http://elinaw.webs.com/favicon.png' rel='icon' type='image/png' />
Or if you want to play safe, use both codes in step 8 and 9.
When you're done, click Save Template.

Thank you to http://www.iconj.com/ for the correct codes.

By the way, not all file format can be used for favicon so pick one of the popular file types like .png, .jpg, .bmp and .gif to avoid any nasty surprise.

So that's all for now. I hope I didn't make you more confused :D If I do, please tell me so I can fix it.

Good night!

PS: For more detailed info and instruction, look at Favicon Walkthrough on my other blog called Free To Use. It covers every step with a lot of explanation but easy enough to follow and it's not limited to Blogger blog only.

Identity Crisis Going Out of Control

2010-08-27T12:00:00.004+08:00

First, you want to remain anonymous. Then you want to be popular but you still want your privacy. And then you are worried about your employers snooping around the Internet. And then you're worried about what your family and friends would say if they ever see your entries about them in your blog or Twitter or Facebook. And by now, you have multiple identities you've maintain online and you're afraid your head is going to explode!

Seriously, am I the only one who feels like this?

On my Facebook account, I have set up lots and lots of filter. Filter for boss, filter for friends, filter for family members, filter for fellow gamers, filter for classmates, filter for coworkers, and filter for unknown friend requesters. Every time I want to post something, I have to check first or risk second guessing myself over and over again until I get sick.

The same goes with emails. There is emails for work, school, personal, spam, newsletter and if you're lucky, your employer will give you another extra emails for free. And it goes on and on with your other accounts.

So that's one thing to worry about, mixing your private life and work life. Then you have to worry about snooping!

For example, I have a Live Journal account by the name Hikari (not my real username so don't even think about it). See, I have a friend who is curious enough to search my username on Google and checked everyone with that username (real story). So maybe user details in Live Journal is not complete but who's to say that the other websites won't have it?

Thank goodness I don't use the same username on every account!

I have created several complete profiles to avoid my employers from spying on me. By complete profile, I mean something like this:

Username: Elliot1977
Real Name: Ellianor Maximus
Birthday: 12 January 1977
Gender: Transexual (hahaha)
Race: White
Country: United States

Heh, the name sounds stupid. I made that up just now but I do have those fake profiles for my personal use. Very effective against those peeping toms.

However, it's hard to maintain especially when you're like me who just can't make up my mind. For example, the other day I thought, "Eh, what the harm. Let's connect my blog on Blogger to my Yahoo! Pulse. My family and friends will be able to see it.". And the next day, my first thought was "What the heck was I thinking? I write about my inner thoughts on that blog! What if I hurt their feelings?!".

So, being able to create multiple profiles for different purposes is great to maintain your privacy but it is certainly a headache to maintain. Why can't we handle all accounts in one, single place? I'm sick of having to maintain this multiple lives....

We're the new James Bond

I kid you not

It's a journey to find out your passion

2010-08-26T12:00:00.004+08:00

My memory is blurry. Sometimes I wonder what's the point of reading. I just can't hold it in my brain for long. The details always escape me. If it's not the details, the title or the name. It sucks to be unsure of something.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say here is that I've read somewhere about it takes three or six months to test a blog if it's working or not. It has been repeated many times by other successful blog writers as well.

If I'm not mistaken Yaro Starak wrote something about finding what to blog about. The idea was to find out your interests and skills. Put them in a list and start writing about them in separate blogs. See which one you write the most because usually that is the one that will be the most popular of your blogs.

So anyway, that's why I created this blog. I didn't know what to write about but I like writing. If I don't start writing, how would I know what I'm capable off?

This blog might be unpopular but I find out some pieces of that puzzle. So it's okay.

I'd like to earn money from my blog though. So once I find out my 'calling' I might be deleting this blog, create a new one and start focusing on certain topic. That advice, about focusing on certain topic only, has been repeated several times by great bloggers.

For now, all I know is I:

like writing in good grammar
like writing
not easy going but I'd like to
I can actually write good informative article (though it doesn't happen often and people don't really read it)
is getting better at writing
rediscover the joy of writing

Reading Versus Watching TV

2010-08-25T14:58:00.001+08:00

What Is Introspection?

2010-08-25T12:00:00.005+08:00

According to Google Dictionary Lookup (Google Chrome extension), introspection means the examination or observation of one's own mental and emotional processes.

Looking back, I am always fascinated about myself. Sometimes I automatically lie when asked a question. Sometimes I avoid doing something for no reason. Sometimes my temper flares too easily.

It makes me wonder why did I do those things? Do I usually do that in other occasions too? Or is it not my usual behavior? What triggers it?

So I ended up monitoring my behavior subconsciously in order to come up with the reasons and find out who I really am. Even if I don't get that answer, it is still fun to record things and just see the patterns.

With that said, it makes sense that other people behaviors are also interesting to watch. I love watching how my mother and friends interacting with other people. I don't socialize much so most of the times I don't know how to respond or react. That's why people think I am a little bit weird or interesting. Anyway, by observing others, I learn how to act in social situation. It's not just acting though. By looking at their reactions and listen to their reasonings, it also helps me to think about others feeling.

I'm forgetful though. I'm afraid I will forget what I have learnt so far about them and myself so I always write the info down. When I feel lazy, I didn't write it but then I'll suffer the consequence. I have a lot of notebooks full of writings and drawings. It's really annoying to search for any of those written info since it's all over the place. I mean, it's not like I can categorize it. At one time, I can gather a lot of random info. So they are all mashed together in those notebooks and.... papers.

I usually observe my thoughts and actions and then contemplate in when I was bored, when I feel nothing. So that's why I always bring my papers everywhere. I write in car, bus, walking, reading, whatever. When it's too hard to write on papers, I write it on my cellphone. The ideas just come and when it comes, I would be very very worried and my hands will itch if I can't find somewhere to jot it down as soon as possible. And that's why I don't have time to organize my ideas when I put them on papers.

When I think about my thoughts sequence, actions I've taken and situations, I try not to justify them because that won't help me to find out what I really want to know. For example, I could easily say that the reason I was angry because she was blah blah blah (insert whatever reason here), of course I would be mad and just leave it at that. This is what I call blaming others.

I do realize at first jump, I am one of those people who will start to get defensive and then blame others. But, I do take the time later on to... you know, do a little of self-reflection. For example, again with the same situation:

Okay so, I was angry. Why did I get angry? What did she say that makes me angry? What is the specific thing that she said that actually riles me up? Why does that makes me angry? Does what she said make sense, I mean, do I agree with what she said or not? If what she said is the truth, then what do I do about it? If it's not, what makes she said it? What should I do about it?

Things like that. Things that can help me understand others and myself better. I don't know if this is the correct way to do self-inspection, introspection, self-reflection or whatever you call this but the result is quite good so far.

I feel a little bit like a narcissist though when I tell others about these observations and findings about myself.... I mean, it's not like I'm anybody special, so why would they want to know that about me, right? But, it's just interesting to find out about all these things so I can't but yapping about it sometimes :)

So here's a little bit of my discovery about myself:

Whenever I'm bored or stumped, I make plans for whatever and write it down. Then I usually get a lot of ideas.
Whenever I'm bored or stumped, I look around me, observe what I think about the situation and observe people interactions and activities and write it down. Then I usually get a lot of ideas.
Unfortunately, most of those plans and ideas stay in the notebook. I just can't be bother to look it up again until I feel bored again.
I procrastinate a lot. Everyone likes to procrastinate once in a while but I procrastinate almost all the time. I just realized that it's actually a habit. I have to get rid of it, the sooner the better.
There must be reasons why I procrastinate. It's fun to ponder about the reasons. Most of the time, it's because I just don't feel like doing it.
I like writing my thoughts.
I also like looking at the flow of writing and reading.
I like writing well-written posts.
I like reading well-written posts.
I dislike posting badly written article in my blogs.
Strangely, I don't mind reading badly written articles in other blogs as long it contains information I need.
I love to be able to spot and see the patterns. Whether it's my thought, tests, whatever. I just love seeing a patterns.
But, I hate to record it. So I have trouble in being scientific during experiments. The progress is hard to see and the result is not reliable.
I'm getting better at writing because I love writing and itch to write almost everyday even when I have no idea what to write about.
I know people don't care to read my puny blog, but it's nice to have this blog and read those comments from readers every now and then :)

And lastly, here are some snippets and links that can explain about introspection better:

This free encyclopedia just has to be included naturally.
It can also be called contemplation of one's self, and is contrasted with extrospection, the observation of things external to one's self.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Introspection

An article that focus on the positive and negative aspects of introspection.
As with most things which most people do there are positive and negative aspects to introspection. Sometimes it is very important for us to reflect on our inner thoughts and feelings but too much of this can be unhealthy. The positive side is that in order to become a better person it is necessary to reflect on your behaviour and values and to look inward for this. Also, in terms of mental health some form of self analysis is beneficial. This is where self help books can be helpful if carefully selected and used properly, they can point you in the correct direction and through some form of self evaluation you can decide to change your behaviour and attitude to certain situations in your life.
http://www.more-selfesteem.com/introspection.htm

Problem with introverts: They're probably over thinking it
Introspective is good: but it's important to distinguish between the "spective" part (self-observation) and mere overcogitation. The problem that introverts are prone to is getting lost in their own thoughts, so that they lose track of reality beyond their own mental noodlings. Self-observation is different than isolated and idiosyncratic cogitation. Self observation isn't commentary and theory, it's LOOKING without prejudice or judgment at something -- yourself.
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/1170069

A step by step guide on using introspection to get your career back on track.
Even the most successful people can benefit from self-assessment and self-reflection. Learn to look inward and get your career back on track by routinely taking these steps.
http://www.ehow.com/how_2343970_use-introspection-career-back-track.html

Wow, everyone has different way to introspect themselves! Which method do you use?
I put a teddy bear on my desk and talk out loud to it.
http://ask.metafilter.com/156002/What-methods-do-you-use-to-introspect

The article lists The Top 8 introspection methods that can help you tame your stress.
How often do you get so stressed that you lash out at people without meaning to? (Check out this poll to vote and see how often other people do, too.) If it's a regular event, you may be suffering from self-sabotaging thought patterns that cause additional mental and emotional stress. You can look within and change these patterns, reducing future stress in yourself--and those around you!
http://stress.about.com/od/tensiontamers/tp/stress_cause.htm

Oh, there is even a pure scholarly view on introspection which is said to be more reliable than wikipedia.
Is introspection really retrospection?
http://www.scholarpedia.org/article/Introspection

Fasting plus Shopping equals?

2010-08-24T12:00:00.008+08:00

Mom always get the same things when grocery shopping. I was so tired eating those food, I actually volunteered to go shopping with my mom a few days ago!

Those who know me know that I'm always stuck in my bedroom. I rarely and hardly go out for shopping at all until it's absolutely necessary (there is no more food in the pantry!).

My mom has this tendency to wander into bags and clothes section before buying any groceries. This time is no different.

So as predicted, we went to Bundle Shop first before shopping for groceries. It was hot. After browsing around for awhile, I was already hungry and tired.

Usually by this time, we went to satiate our hunger before continuing. Unfortunately it's Ramadhan. So we went on which is a mistake.

Shopping rule no 1:

Don't go grocery shopping while you're hungry!

It was terrible!

There are food every where in the mall. They look mouth watering. For some reason, the scents are stronger than usual too. It was a cruel torture!

Needless to say, I lost my restrain. I grabbed pretty much everything I like while drooling and fantasying how it would taste like in my mouth while my mom just indulged me. She said it is such a rare occasion for me to come out of the house willingly, so it requires celebration ^^ Bad move on her part~~~

Just look at our list below:
1. FOUR flavors of ice cream!
2. A big bottle of Aloe vera juice
3. A big bottle of Soda
4. Baby butterhead (delicious name for a type of green vegetable)
5. Yellow cucumber
6. Plain yogurts
7. Various types of cheap breads on sales
8. Other green stuff with unusual names we have never use
9. Various types of fruits
10. Fish.

Normally, we won't be buying these food (the ones in bold) because mom tends to cook the same thing so she buys the same ingredients all the time. Most of the groceries mentioned above is not in her usual list at all. I, on the other hand, would love to experiment (she cook, me eat lol) with as many different flavor as I can.

So that's why I always hold back my desire. Because if I don't, I'd be getting everything in the mall just because I would like to try new stuff. Same goes with cakes in the bakery, chocolates in chocolatier shop, every single menu in a restaurant and so on. So I get very strict with myself about buying and trying unneeded stuff.

But.. but... my mom just has to unleash my wild side *CRIES* and so I pity her wallet today haha ^^

Me - Restrain = ?

So with my restrain gone, we ended up with a choke-full of unnecessary food items in our trolley. Good news to the sellers, bad news for our wallet. Mom was surprised to see the price tag, it was way higher than our usual splurge!

Conclusion

Well, obviously lesson number 1 is DO NOT ever go shopping while you're hungry every again XD But, if we really have to, spend as little time as possible in there. The sooner we get out, the less temptations it will be. Better buy the important ones first and grab the rests on another day (which is easier said than done).

I wonder if it's possible to stock up a full month supply before fasting season start. Then we don't need to go out at all to buy food and that reduce the risk of overspending on food ever again.

4 Types of Friendship

2010-08-23T12:00:00.143+08:00

Everyday is someone's birthday

I'm a nice person, really. I can be at ease with a complete stranger and by the end of our conversation, I get this feeling like we're best friends forever. Of course, the feeling only lasts for a moment and then we're back to nothing. And so I wonder, what are the differences between stranger, acquaintance, friend and best friend?

Strangers are Angel in Disguise
One of my favorite target when spilling my darkest secret are strangers. They don't know you so they couldn't judge you or if they do, it won't feel as hurtful. You can be very honest and get fresh unbiased response to your view or problem. It can be very therapeutic.Furthermore, what makes strangers irreplaceable is that your secret is totally safe in their hand as long you didn't hand them your personal details during the exchange. They can't use the secret to hurt you. However, it is also very likely that you'd get attached and dependent to these strangers if you maintain constant contact with them. I know I do. I miss my nameless online friends more than I miss my real friends, sometimes.

Acquaintances are Similar to Politicians
By my definition, strangers turned to acquaintance when they're personally introduced to you or just happen to be around your social circle. You know their name, rumors and gossips about them, but you just don't care to get to know them. They're still strangers but unlike complete strangers, you don't trust them with any of your secrets. What makes it worse, you just don't know what their intentions are. Included in this category are classmates, and work colleagues. Those who didn't fit in will have a hard time to find friends and advance their career.

Friends Can Be Your Protectors or Bullies
The strange thing is you can be friends without knowing each other names. So what makes it different from being a stranger? For one thing, your friend usually knows you and the people in your social circle. When your friends are friends with your other friends, you now have a small society of your own. There will be leaders and followers among your friends which enforces the sheep like mentality. There are safety in numbers so you're safe from other bullies. However that doesn't mean you won't be bullied by your own members. Meaning, you can be outvoted anytime, ganged up and kicked out of your own social circle if you do something which most of your pack members don't agree or they just plain don't like you. So it is entirely possible for you to hate your friends and have to suck it up in order to have a (relatively) peaceful life. Which also explains why some people say they're lonely even though they have a lot of friends. In order to avoid these kind of bad situations, choose your circle wisely. Good friends usually hangout with another good friends.

You can choose your friends ~~but you can't choose your family~~

Best Friends are Blessings to Your Soul
You only need one best friend to help you remain sane and healthy! Best friends are like strangers. You can share anything with them except this relationship is actually real. They know you inside out or at least much better than anyone else and they still accept you for being who you are. They know your darkest secrets and yet they won't share it with anyone else without your permission. If you're ever in trouble, they'll help you without you having to ask. They are loyal and care a lot about you. They're rare but one of the best thing that could happen to you. So don't ever let them go unless you're crazy.

As you can see, these are the differences between strangers, acquaintances, friends and best friends from my own view. Some might be annoying but you can't avoid to have them all in your life. So even though people say that you should be honest, maybe you shouldn't be cruelly, cuttingly, honest. You just don't know what might happen in the future.

Strangers and best friends are very important to your mental and moral health. They can help you to remain true to yourself by allowing you to share your real thoughts behind the scenes without being judged. However, it is also important for you to maintain a good relationship with your acquaintance and friends to ensure a smooth career and peaceful life. It's harder to handle acquaintances and friends you don't like but it never hurts to be nice to anyone.

You can kill them with sweetness

Agree, disagree? What's your own view about this matter? Reply in comment, please.

Getting into The Spirit of Celebrating a Happy Birthday

2010-08-19T22:07:00.006+08:00

"Jauh berjalan, luas pengalaman."

(The farther you travel, the wider your experience)

Today is my best friend's birthday. Each year, I send her e-card or SMS, no gift ever. It gets kinda old though when everyone is doing the same thing. So I want it to be extra special because she is my best friend. I made her a custom e-card with MS Paint.

The title is 'Today's Hot News' with Mc Donald icon as the column writer ^^ It's funny because she works there. I made the card to look like a short magazine article. It even has the astrology section. It was a lot of fun and pretty quick to make! I like the result and I'm glad she like it too.

*Sigh* She's the only one (among people I know) who appreciates this kind of stuff.

I must admit though, before I met my friends in polytechnic I had never get into the spirit of celebrating anyone's birthday. I thought birthdays are just a cause for family to gather and have delicious treats. My family loves birthday parties.

My aunts and female cousins are good at cooking so they're in charge of preparing the dishes for the party. I'd like to help but every time I try to do that, there is just not much to do for someone who is not used to baking and cooking.

I'm not as outgoing like them and I don't talk much so I often feels like a sore thumb, someone who doesn't belong there, even though I love listening to their funny and spontaneous chattering. I can't help with cleaning either because it wasn't my style to do that in front of others. I can't concentrate. So I rarely join them to help with anything.

I know the anticipation is higher when you're involved in it. So I think that's one of the reason why I'm not excited about the party. I mean, what's so exciting about looking at everyone doing something, then you go down and eat? Except for the cake, it sounds like a normal day to me.

Oh, of course. When there is birthday party, there is also birthday song. Sometimes I sing with them, most of the time I don't because I was too shy. However, the birthday song is one of the thing that makes a birthday celebration special. You'll feel like an outsider if don't join in. I wish I had realized that sooner.

Another thing that makes a birthday special is the birthday wishes. Even if you don't get any gifts, just knowing someone remembers your birthday is enough to make you strangely happy. :)

But, before polytechnic, I rarely wish the birthday boy or girl 'Happy Birthday' because I feels weird saying it and it does sound completely weird from my mouth (it still is). It sounds forced, or choked (yeah.. it's that bad).

The worse memory that really put me off from saying it ever again was that one time when I wish mom a happy Mother's Day. She just didn't look that thrilled or happy. So I refrain from saying it ever again since then (until I got into the polytechnic of course).

Of course now that I'm older and better at reading her body language, I realized now that she actually likes it :) She is just not very good at accepting wishes and gifts (ah, like mom, like daughter).

So I'm very thankful to my friends in polytechnic for teaching me to be more affectionate.

Unfortunately, I'm still bad at wishing someone happy birthday face-to-face so I always use SMS or e-card instead :D

Today's Cooking Test - FAIL!

2010-08-17T06:35:00.006+08:00

Mom had a hard time to wake up today. It's already 5 AM so I took care of the cooking for sahur.

It was harder than I thought and I got panicked while doing it but the end result is pretty good. I'm not quite sure what to call this dish. Egg noodle soup, maybe? It doesn't have a lot of liquid though, just slightly moist. It doesn't have strong flavor at all, it's almost bland with hints of spiciness and salty taste. The color of this dish is bland too, almost too white except for the red hue.

Hikari's Judgement: Taste, OKAY except it's a little bit crunchy (no, it's not from the egg shells). I guess I shouldn't have put those jam in it (haha, I bet you're thinking 'WTF' right now). It looks OKAY. Maybe a little bit too white but I think it looks nice that way.

Mom's Judgement: XD Just looking at her face makes me want to laugh. I guess it looks really bland and boring for her. She prefers multicolored dishes. Then, the test taste. She said she has to add some chilli ketchup and last night fish dish or she can't eat it at all. I guess it's once again too bland for her, she can't taste a thing. So, aesthetic test, FAIL! Taste test, FAIL!

Conclusion: I should have realized it sooner but I forgot the two reasons why I should not cook for others. One, I know just by looking at their face, they think my food looks unappetizing and boring. And two, they always have to add something because the food is apparently flavorless to them. In conclusion, next time I should just stick to sandwiches or just let mom do the cooking! :D

Essential Ingredients In My Kitchen

2010-08-16T01:54:00.009+08:00

Now that I live with my mother, the kitchen seems so full of various stuff I can't even identify. It's kinda creepy because I don't even know if they're still good or how to eat them (raw, cooked?).

For all I know, these are the only essential ingredients in my kitchen:

Eggs! - The most important ingredient ever! It is good for health, easy and quick to prepare, taste great, filling and most of all cheap!
Tomato and cabbage - Available everywhere, cheap, and the cabbage last longer than most vegetables. Very filling. Great for diet.
Instant Noodle without the unhealthy seasoning - There are instant noodles sold with no seasoning included. I dislike those seasonings because I don't wanna get addicted.
Salt - Sometimes, I ignore it altogether in my cooking except for soup.

Well, these are the most important ones. Yeah, the menu is going to be boring and bland but.... filling enough not to let me go hungry as quickly and good enough not to make me puke. I prefer to drink water so sugar is not included in this list.

I have yet to be reduce to only have these in my stock. I wonder how long I'd have to eat these until I feel sick just looking at them? :)

Other ingredients in my list are:

Sugar - I got sweet tooth but I have a love hate relationship with sugar.
Powdered Milk - I like milk especially mixed with chocolate or carrot ^^
Chocolate - Haha, not healthy if taken too much but it's a good quick fix especially when I miss my meal! Mmm... so delicious...
Flour - Pancakes!
Onion and garlic - I feel less guilty to eat when there aren't enough vegetables and fruits to go around. Make any dish smell great, taste better and more filling.
Cooking oil - Use it or risk ruining my pancakes.
Bread - Yay, toasted sandwich! Nom nom nom...
Cheese - For sandwich :)
Peanut butter - Most of the time, I eat it just like that. It's good. Mmm..
Crackers - I like to soak it in my milk or make peanut butter cracker sandwich. Taste very good either way.
Oatmeal and Nestum - Quick and delicious breakfast
Jam - I seldom buy it but it taste great with peanut butter.
Kaya - Great with pancakes.
Rice - When I live alone, it's hard to buy rice and bring it home without car so I usually eat out for rice.
Pepper - Love the smell and add a little bit of spice.
Mayonnaise - Make raw salad bearable.
Chilli sauce - Mayonnaise substitute.
Soy sauce - Fried egg, rice and soy sauce, perfect!!

Wow, I didn't know my list will be this long! ^^ I like simple and delicious food. Fried rice and assorted sandwiches are my favorite! Aww, I'm getting hungry now... I wonder what kind of sandwich mom's gonna make for today's breakfast.

Have You Ever Feel Like Running Away By... Sleeping?

2010-08-14T06:33:00.003+08:00

These days, I feel like I sleep more than I am awake.

Yesterday, after publishing that blog post around 7 AM, I did a little bit of this and that. I think it's about 10AM when I started to feel tired and lay down on my bed to rest for a few minutes. However, I ended up sleeping until it's time to breaking the fast which is around 7 PM!

Odd.. I thought it was longer but after calculating the hours, I've spent only 9 hours sleeping. So I guess I am not over sleeping even though it sure feels like it. I've become a nocturnal though.

It wasn't intentional, or at least not consciously at first. My mom keep asking me question, I'm feeling uncomfortable with my own skin, clothes, bedroom, the house is too noisy, lack of privacy, but most of all, I miss my alone time, the time where only me exist.

I used to have this house to myself you know. When I live alone, everything is in order. I like cleaning, organizing, housekeeping, cooking, taking care of myself, taking care of the house, taking care of my things... Ever since then I realize that I am a slob only in the presence of others.

Just to hear them breathing, distract me too much. Anyway, it's hard to explain so I'll skip that. OMG, what if I got it from my mom?

She used to be an organized person but ever since me and my lil sister can start taking care of ourselves, she.. becomes.. um, lazy. *Sigh* Great.. no wonder we're going nowhere. Again, hard to explain so skipped.

Hmm, I became nocturnal because at night there aren't much noise but my mom adopted that. So now both day and night are noisy.

I do not want to talk to anyone. I do not want to be with anyone right now. I want to do whatever I want (no bad stuff, just things like housekeeping and walking) without hearing any other noise.

Am I just being weird?

The Messy Room Is Messing With My Mind

2010-08-13T07:32:00.007+08:00

Today, like any other day, I wake up and try to do something useful.

Most of the days, I end up looking around my room and stare. After a few seconds, I switched on the computer and... I got caught by the net.

Every time I try to remind myself to do something, I stand up and see my room. Then I sit down and back to my la la world.

Before I realize it, the day has gone by and I still haven't done my chores.

So hopefully today won't be like any other day.

Let see...

I need to hang my laundry.
I'm done washing and drying them just now. So now I gotta hang them or risk to having to wash them again due to the smell.

I want a small yet usable wardrobe.
So I need to separate my current clothes collection to gonna-wear, might-wear and never-gonna-wear section. Then, most used to unused. The never-gonna-wear section will be donated or thrown away. The might-wear might be donated or kept in a box. The gonna-wear section will be hanging or folded in my closet. But first, I need to collect them all.

Of course there's more but considering I'm definitely a lazy ass (I'm trying to be more hardworking) who have serious procrastination problem, I think this is more than enough. And I still don't know if I can finish them or not today :P

Task #1 Hang Laundry
Status: Incomplete
Comment: Still haven't hang them yet. It's 23:29 PM right now.

Task #2 Trim Wardrobe
Status: Incomplete
Comment: Still haven't done anything. It's 23.29 PM right now.

Conclusion
I'll just do it tomorrow. I fell asleep after I first post this and woke up after almost 12 hours... Now it's night already... *sigh*

Ahhhh, I hate reading!!!

2010-08-08T21:44:00.004+08:00

I know reading is good to expand your knowledge. However what's the point of reading if I'm gonna forget it anyway? I mean, I will only remember the important points (to me) and stuff that I actually do. Everything else is purged or stay as distant memory. It's kinda pointless to read more.

Maybe I should DO more instead of looking for more information.

According to SmartZul in his article, Hakikat 2: Anda perlu tahu bagaimana berniaga di internet, it's better to study until you understand what you're studying (belajar dulu sampai faham) than learning while doing (belajar sambil buat).

I have a habit to simplify or over analyzing everything so I'm not gonna start asking what does he meant by 'until you understand' statement. I don't wanna risk over thinking the small thing (and people get annoyed at me). So I'm gonna take a guess that it means you should understand the big picture, the purpose and the flow. Full stop.

Huh? It really is the simple thing that is hard to grasp until I write it down... Ah, I'm glad to be blogging here. It helps me find the point of writing/thinking/doing something.

So if I'm learning about Google Adwords, I should understand

The purpose of using Google Adwords / Google Adwords advantages
How to use it
Basic dos and don'ts
Other tips can be learnt while doing because the rules change all the time.

Am I wrong or right? Lol, my over simplifying ability just showed its face here :D

By the way, I love these points:

Don't we often miss things in plain-sight? We are distracted by our state-of-mind, mood and attitude.

Have you ever reread a book, article or report and been amazed of the brilliant ideas you totally missed the first-time? Did the book change?

The quotes are from Why Do You Hate Reading? by H. Bernard Wechsler. He's talking about why brainy people secretly hate reading. I'm pretty sure I am not included in that category. Anyway, he's right about 'miss things in plain-sight'.

More often than not, I am pleasantly surprised to discover new information just by rereading the same article. I used to think that's because I'm clumsy or too hasty to learn new things. While those might be the truth, I see now that they're not the main problems here.

So how to see thing as it is?

Stop lying to yourself!

Huh, no wonder they say,

Orang Berjaya Mencari Peluang, Orang Biasa mencari Alasan!

Translation:
Successful People find Opportunities, Ordinary People find Excuses!

Art Is Good For Your Health?

2010-08-08T19:52:00.001+08:00

The Best Way To Cure Fever - Sweat It Out!!!

2010-08-07T01:30:00.009+08:00

I got headache and almost got a fever today. So I do what I usually do - Sweat myself profusely!

No, it has nothing to do with Hot Chicken Soup or fold myself with blanket. I haven't got time nor skill to cook that soup. Fold myself with blanket and switch off the fan for the rest of day or night take too much time to work even with Panadol.

Instead, I exercised until my t-shirt is drenched with sweat. Gross but it works miracle ^^

Curing Fever or Cold
Okay, it depends on how bad it is. Small fever will be gone completely after a few minutes or hours. Bad fever takes a few days so I have to continue the sweaty workout everyday until it's gone and I might need to take Panadol too.

So what's the point of the exercise if I still have to take the drug?
Easy, I don't get headache, restless nights, sore throat, runny nose, become clingy or any other annoying things while having it. Cool, huh?

The catch is I have to do it before I actually get the fever or cold. I don't know if you're like me but usually I get sore throat, headache, cold sweat, weak body or combination of these a day or two before I get the fever. So I have to act fast as soon as I get the clue if possible.

Oh, and this tip works for most common non life threating but annoying illnesses too :)

Curing Headache
Sometimes, I got headache either simply because I am too inactive, stressed out or dehydrated (I sometimes forgot to drink tehehe..). So if drinking water doesn't help, sweaty workout is the best cure for me.

Curing Sore Throat and Dehydration (?)
Sometimes I drink enough water but my throat, mouth or body still feel dry or dehydrated. Maybe my body doesn't work properly because I am not an active person (I'm sitting in front of the computer most of the day.. and night). Exercise usually helps. I don't know why.

Same goes to stomach ache, gassy/bloating, and.. erm... constipation *blushes* though these must be included with eating more fiber and water. And uh... it doesn't work as well yet. I'm still looking for the correct diet..

Flashbacks
There are a lot of natural cures that doesn't involve exercise at all for these illnesses but when I live alone, I feel really lonely when there was no one to be with me during these moments. The cures works fine but they take a little bit too long to work for my liking. I often end up whimpering and crying like a lost puppy while waiting it out.

So the best alternative is preventing it from happening at all. I'm glad to say it works to this day. Hopefully I will never feel that loneliness ever again.

My way might not be the best though and there might be some repercussion after some time.

Have you tried this method? Does it work? Did you notice any side effect? Please tell me in your comment.

Choosing Wardrobe That is Nice and Simple to Maintain

2010-08-06T20:45:00.011+08:00

Choosing a wardrobe shouldn't be that hard. I saw my friends do it effortlessly all the time. And yet..

Start rant --- I hate my wardrobe. I have too much clothes. I prefer simplicity and don't mind to wear same cloth over and over again everyday or every week. But right now, I have wayyyyy too much clothes than I care to wear. Mom won't let me throw it away either. And she keeps buying me more clothes! What to do? --- Stop rant

Heh, my mom said I'm an entirely different species. I don't like shopping and unlike most people, I feel like I have too much clothes instead of not enough. I have no idea how and why I got this problem. It's not like I'm super rich to have an overflowing wardrobe but my wardrobe is overflowing right now.

So I visited some how-to guides on how to choose a wardrobe. I didn't realize that I've really missed the basic. No wonder my wardrobe is such a nightmare to maintain. Okay so how to choose wardrobe essentials?

First, look at your Lifestyle

seldom go out
prefer to hang indoor
rarely need to change clothes
Malaysia don't have 4 seasons

Second, what is your Fashion Preferences?

no ironing
long black slacks always
blazer for formal outing
jacket for casual outing
smart look
khakis
absorbent

Third, what is your Favorite Color?

rainbows
any bright color

Lastly, remember the Basic Wardrobe
Tim Gunn's basic wardrobe includes:

~~Basic Black Dress~~
~~Trench Coat~~ (Note: Beautiful Rain Coat?)
Dress Pants (Love them!)
Classic Shirt (Looking forward to look for colorful ones!)
~~Jeans~~ (Haha, no.. I don't wear Jeans)
Any Occasion Top (Huh?)
Skirt (Don't wear any outside)
~~Day Dress~~
Jacket (Love them!)
Sweatsuit Alternative (Cool, I don't wear sweatsuit anyway.)

Not exactly Malaysian's wardrobe so some got crossed out. I think this is enough for a guide right now. We'll see how it goes next week.

After that... what do I do with the extra clothes? If I want to donate them, where do I go? Would anyone want them? What do you do with your extra or old clothes?

Elfen Lied is So Gory... I Love It!

2010-08-04T19:39:00.001+08:00

Mood: I just feel like writing review today. So yeah.. :) Warning, might contain spoilers.

It's really gory with cute girls and lots of violence and rape scenes. I haven't got a clue why I like this kind of story but it makes me wanna scream of the unfairness of the world. I am not a passionate person and most people would say I'm a boring person (I think). So I guess that's why I love stuff that can makes me feel strongly about something.

The arts are easy on the eyes with lots of suspense, violence and blood in every chapter. I love it!

However I really don't understand something. I'd like to think that the artist just exaggerating things in this manga but I don't know for sure because I have limited experience about violence and nastiness. It seems to me, most people in Elfen Lied are incredibly hateful and hostile or very nice.

*spoiler alert*

Bullying

The main character, Lucy, is an orphaned girl born with small horns on her head. She used to live in an orphanage and got bullied daily because of her horns. She was unhappy but retain her sweet self until one day, she found a pet cat. She kept the cat in secret because she was afraid of what the other kids might do to the cat but someone found out.

The girl however promised Lucy to keep the secret from the other kids. They became best friend. Lucy (and I) didn't expect the girl to betray her at all because the girl was shy and really nice to Lucy and her cat. They even spent time and take care of the cat together.

When the other kids found out, they TORTURE the cat in front of Lucy. Of course Lucy tried to stop them but they restrain her, and hit her. After they are done torturing the cat and Lucy mentally and physically, the kids actually KILL the cat!!! Okay, so on that day, Lucy lost control of her hidden unnatural power and KILL all the other kids.

So what I don't get is how the kids can be so cruel to start killing with such hateful intention at such a young age, excluding Lucy in rage? Excluding kids in war or in unusual living area, is it possible for kids to be that nasty? It's hard for me to accept that because I used to be a bully and be bullied too .

We were just kids and from what I can remember, we do not have such underlying cruel motive or are we that cruel to gang up on others. It just happens. We don't even hurt anyone just a poke here and there, pulls hair, or just a sneer.

True Experience #1 (I was the bully)
I had this female friend in primary school. She was tall and awkwardly big, does not talk very much, always staring at us and wiping her nose. So whenever she picks up her nose, or walk too slow, or does anything that is weird, I call her on it because I want her to stop it. She never talks back and I never talk to her as friend. We just don't walk in the same circle. I don't hate her at all.

True Experience #2 (I was bullied)
I had this female friend in kindergarten. She's very clever, beautiful and the teachers adore her. She's the star pupil. For some reason, she always tug on my hair or pinch me for no reason at all. Even if the teachers saw her do this, I'd be the one they're mad at. It still confuses me to these days. Anyway the point is, I did not sense any malicious intention from her. Nor does she have any such evil face when she's bullying others. It's more like she's trying to attract attention and test her boundary. She does not hate me.

I get how teenager's bullying is different from kiddies' one but that exactly it. Lucy and her friends look younger than 13 years old, maybe 7-10 years old. So are kids really capable to feel that much hate just because someone has different look from them?

Is kids' bullying level in Malaysia that different from Japan's? Or I just happen to be very lucky to have such innocent and nice kids surrounding me?

Rapes

It seems like rapes and violence to women are normal things to happen in Elfen Lied. It's everywhere and every character has at some point or others been tortured and raped. What I don't get is, it happens mostly to the same girl over and over again. Do these girls have labels on their head that says 'Rape Me'? What makes them so rape-able?

How Adult View Pokemon

2010-08-04T18:15:00.007+08:00

Video Title:
The Birds and the Beedrills (a song integrating the 151 pokemon as sexual innuendos)

This video was uploaded a few days ago (1 August 2010) and already got 498056 views!

I thought it's a game guide or review (because it has pokemon game cover!) or just a big joke (looking at the title) so I didn't get around to view/listen to this video until today. And that's only because I was really really bored.

At first, I didn't really get it. It's a fast song and doesn't make much sense to me. I do realize it sounds kinda lewd though. The rap and the beat is really catchy. It's a fun song.

After looking at the lyrics.... well, let's just say it's really really lewd! But that's only at the beginning. Unlike other porno-like song, this one actually got some juice AND story.. Warning, the lyric is actually not as upbeat as the rhythm... The ending is really sad... :(

And, what makes it even sadder is that the story might actually be true. White Licorice, the uploader, posted this on his User Profile:

Influences: Failures and sexual deprivation

Considering that this is his first video.... I think that 'failures and sexual deprivation' refers to the creation of this video. Life goes on and you make the best you can with it.

5 stars for the creativity, coolness, geekiness.. and great story..

Lyrics by White Licorice (Brandon Daley)
Music by Sad Panda (Brock Chart)

Practicing Kindness to My Mother

2010-07-31T12:31:00.002+08:00

Being a loner who doesn't care much for people has its own advantages and disadvantages. For example, some of the good points are I can ignore gossips and the superficial concerns and I can talk and take actions without being biased or taking sides. However, that also means I haven't got a lot of friends and have poor social and communication skills.

While I seldom care about such thing, I do care about not hurting people' feelings especially those who don't deserve it like my mother.

Because I am a loner, I dislike others to invade my personal space (it's as big as my bedroom), or be in other's company for long. Because I am a quiet person and like silent, I dislike noise and have hard time to concentrate in busy place. Because I tend to be a single minded person, I tend to concentrate on one thing at a time, and hate interruptions.

All of these combinations make me a hard person to be with unless you're very patient or an introvert that rarely go out of he/her room. Since I live with my mother and rarely go out... guess who is my favorite victim? My mother. She definitely doesn't deserve it.

That's one of the reason why I want to change and be a better person.

It's easier said than done though. I have been been asked if I have no feeling a couple of times so I think that should tell you how bad I am at empathy. For this research, I have to resort to relationship advice for men.

How to Show a Woman That You Care is a good read. It contains practical advices on how to treat a woman (though I think men deserve to be treated like that too). Some of the advices even contain link to other article that describes the point in detail. Very helpful. Wish me luck!

Advantages Alone Does Not Guarantee Your Wins

2010-07-30T23:23:00.003+08:00

Do you know?

I was the first born, good in academic matter even without trying hard, a loner, do not gossip, and rarely involve in social events.

On the other hand, my younger sister and most of my cousins are not that good academically but excel in physical matter (they're damn good in running, sparring, et cetera) and are social creatures.

So what happened?

Now I'm 22, with no job (I didn't even send any resume because I don't want one), currently trying out VeMMA business, poor at common social skill, can't cook, no boyfriend, not exactly fat but not fit either, can't dance, can't draw, and personally I think the lookout is kinda bleak.

My younger sister is studying in college with more friends and connections everywhere, working hard to achieve her dream as a writer, editor, whatever. And it seems like my other cousins are doing well, even if it's prestigious, they're happy or content with their life.

In conclusion?

I might start earlier but they manage to leave me behind the dust.

Where did I go wrong?

Ignoring everybody else
Not interested in other people
End up as a loner
Or better described as katak di bawah tempurung (frog under the coconut shell)
Not knowing common knowledge and skill
Poor social and communication skill
Cannot handle working stress
Not hardworking enough to be successful in anything
Not passionate or interested enough to be good in anything
It's a chain reaction really.

So what do I do now?
Well, I want to change so... let's go one step at a time :) Wish me luck!